Sunday, July 29, 2007
today is just a normal saturady. go service and chill at ps till late nite den come bakc home and slp. but today the people i spent my time with r my cg ppl. i never knew my cg in such an intimate way. they r such a bunch of fun and nonsensical ppl. hashah.we went to BK at emerald to study and we had fun studying and it was kinda fruitful i guess. JIAHAO and I bought new memory cards for our hp. it was so damn cheap la. i think. haha. PJ had two converts today and 1 of them is malay. i wonder how he converted and will his parent reject his faith?? i wonder. i pray that God will show Himself vividly to Ibro and Kestr during the next few weeks or so. bcos i wnan let them noe tat God is real in their lives:) PJ has tripled in 3 mths time. i nvr seen such a thriving grp in my life b4. it is great to be in this grp. but when i told JIAHAO i mayb their leader, they sounded amazing and resistance to my leadership and prefered those ex-CL lyk WS, Stef, and aaron. but now is now wad. those days are over. but i dun really care la. it was a prideful moment for me cos i somehow think tat i m more spiritually more superior than the rest of them i repent now:( sorry God. now i reached home i wanan find a verse or something to encourage this friend of mine so tat i can make her stay in church. i wanan be a encourager.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
12:58 AM
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Friday, July 27, 2007
today is finally the end of the sch week!!! i had been pressing on to this day for veyr long already. i got tons of hw man. LOADS AND LOADS. but i just finished eveyrthig. man it takes alot of determination and brainpower man. haha but quite shiok ar do alot of hw in 1 go. haha. i self-proclaimed quitted from rugby bcos i think i better focus on my academic first b4 i pursue any CCAs. anyway i don really lyk the ppl there and they kinda sucks. BIGTIME. my mid yrs i did quite badly. it is an unlikely chance that i promote to J2. seriously. i nid to score As and Bs for everything to promote. which i think is most unlikely. but i pray that God will make a way somehow and let me promote to J2 smoothly. bcos i still wanna lead a JC life and pioneer my sch. it is so fun to pioneer a JC minsitry. it is quite easy and it is fun evangalising. not lyk in high sch it is so hard to evangalise. haha. i pray hard thay God would help me in my promos and help me to b a righteous man for HIM. i don wanna go the wrong way again.haha. Mr Tan is not really happy with our cls man. he lyk hates us totally. i go up and do qns and he draw a wierd cycloalkene and i tot he was doing arenes and he scold me tat i dunno how to do. partly i was at fault la cos i was mistaken. but he didnt make himself clear ma. he scold me i didnt pay attention. I pay the utmost attention in his class. i dont pay as much attention in other cls loh. why did my most favourite and respected teacher reduced to this state? haiz... i m so sad and confused.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
9:34 PM
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Sunday, July 22, 2007
PJC have a cg size worth of converts according to Jia Hao. praise the Lord. i believe God will continue to pour into this grp greatly. haha. it is a thriving grp man. i love it. but still if the wineskin is weak, as more wine is poured in, the wineskin will broke and we will have to start all over again. so i wanna strengthen our wineskins and grow in the Lord. if not no matter how much God poured in, it will flow out from the other end one day. so God may you strengthen ur people so that they mayb prepared for greater harvest and greater stuff. God help PJ!!!
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
12:27 AM
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Friday, July 20, 2007
man. it was finally the end of the week man. i really looked forward to this day very much man. haha. today had some blood donation advertising to the residents of CCK constituency. it was kinda bored but catherine and i got the slackest job bcos we r in charge. haha we talked quite a bit and i managed somehow to break into her life and i invited her for svc. she said ok but after that she nid to take care of her siblings so i 'booked' her for next week. haha. she said she is interested to come. haha. cool. i didnt noe aaron has a blog and his blog is similar to kelly's-loads of pictures, and a few words. but i didnt noe aaron noe all those bombardstic words lyk reminiscence, flustered, dejected,forlorn, its not really bombardstic to me but i really dunno aaron would noe how to use such words. he is such a chyna person and i didnt think he would noe how to use this kinda words. i was quite amazed and stunned that aaron who noe. haha. but wells i better buck up as well cos i noe my vocabs is not really alot. better store up more in my well of vocabs. haha. i think i better chiong for promos man. i cannot retain. i cant afford to do so. but if i really did retained, den fine, i go poly and score As there. even if i retained, at least i did my best. ok i m damn tired, tml still ave geo extra lessons. dumb. gtg. nites.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
10:48 PM
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Monday, July 16, 2007
it is the start of a new week and i really hope i can start it right with God and i i had locked my blog with a password. it is not that i m afraid of my leaders would find out wad i m doing in my private life or i m up to something. it is because there is someone who keeps reading my blog and telling tall tales about me everywhere. the i being ******** FATHER incident is such an example. that person read my entry and he/she go and sabo me. damn tat person to hell man. recently i also heard people had been badmouthing to other people in sch. i wonder who r they man. why they r so mean to me? people asked me abt my L1R5 so i told them and they asked me abt my postition in sch and so i told me. but some asshole go and twisted them and say that i went round telling others that i was so so proud abt my L1R5 and i was such an arrogrant person. i admited that i did say HONG KAH SECONDARY was a bad sch but come on, dont u agree with me ex hong kah lites???? i was so pissed off when i heard abt it man. if i ever get the wind of whoever was the one spread this shit i will make sure that jerk will pay. i hav faith that God will not allow His children to undergo such humliation. i hang on to this Chapter and i will pray it everyday: whoever badmouth me, this is ur retribution>>>>>
Psalms 109-
1 O God, whom I praise, do not remain silent,
2 for wicked and deceitful men have opened their mouths against me; they have spoken against me with lying tongues.
3 With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without cause.
4 In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer.
5 They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship.
6 Appoint an evil man to oppose him; et an accuser stand at his right hand.
7 When he is tried, let him be found guilty, and may his prayers condemn him.
8 May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership.
9 May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow.
10 May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes.
11 May a creditor seize all he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor.
12 May no one extend kindness to him or take pity on his fatherless children.
13 May his descendants be cut off, their names blotted out from the next generation.
14 May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the LORD; may the sin of his mother never be blotted out.
15 May their sins always remain before the LORD, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth.
16 For he never thought of doing a kindness, but hounded to death the poor and the needy and the brokenhearted.
17 He loved to pronounce a curse— may it come on him; he found no pleasure in blessing— may it be far from him.
18 He wore cursing as his garment; it entered into his body like water, into his bones like oil.
19 May it be like a cloak wrapped about him, like a belt tied forever around him.
20 May this be the LORD's payment to my accusers, to those who speak evil of me.
21 But you, O Sovereign LORD, deal well with me for your name's sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.
22 For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me.
23 I fade away like an evening shadow; I am shaken off like a locust.
24 My knees give way from fasting; my body is thin and gaunt.
25 I am an object of scorn to my accusers; when they see me, they shake their heads.
26 Help me, O LORD my God; save me in accordance with your love.
27 Let them know that it is your hand, that you, O LORD, have done it.
28 They may curse, but you will bless; when they attack they will be put to shame, but your servant will rejoice.
29 My accusers will be clothed with disgrace and wrapped in shame as in a cloak.
30 With my mouth I will greatly extol the LORD; in the great throng I will praise him.
31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy one, to save his life from those who condemn him.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
6:25 PM
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Saturday, July 14, 2007
today is kinda boring and rushing. i had college day in the morning. so boring. the talent time is no talent time at all man. there r no talent at all man. damn sick. went down to service, God spoke in my life and He say tat trust in Me and i will prosper you soon. the atomsphere of the service is kinda dead. people didnt jump during P&W and during sermon, no 1 really shouted Amen or laughed at jokes told by jasmine. it was kinda low and bad la. everyone was not really at their peak. after that went down to play pool with my cg ppl and met up with sherms and we had a great time. we slack at cafe cartel and we had alot of fun chatting there. haha. den after tat went home and now i m slping soon. tml still nid to wake up early to go play basketball. hahaha.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
11:57 PM
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wow!! finally its saturaday morning. supposingly i need to go to sch for college day todya but i m really very tired to go man. i decided to rest at home and do my admin work and also complete some hw bcos it is really alot of hw at hand- i have 8 economics article reviews, alkene tutorial, PW written report, application of differentiation summary. omg. tat is a load full of hw. somemore i have some minstry work at hand. its been a hectic yet fulfilling week as i did my work with joy and there were no setbacks or disruptions. which i relaly tank God 4. haha. after a week from the pit. i gradually getting to stand up, but it is really agonising u noe, i have to stand back on my own. there is no one to help me, no 1 to support me. but its ok. I will do my best, God do the rest.
i decided to quit rugby as well bcos of the my time constraint and also of my poor results, i decided to focus more on my studies den my CCA. another reason i m quitting the team is bcos the new captain suck. i don like him man. he is so damn small size and he is just damn action. i don lyk him man. it beats the real meaning of Rugby. the captain is so small size? we will be a laughing stock. "who's your captain?" den a small guy came out. OMG. wth. give me a break man. it is all the DAMN ASSHOLE PIKA fault, who asked for a re-vote bcos he wan the vice captain place 4 himself. wad a jerk. i prefered Derrick as the Captain and Pika as the ball keeper. ASSHOLES. TRATIORS.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
10:43 AM
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Wednesday, July 11, 2007
its been a few days since i posted. i m kinda busy with my sch stuff and i don really have time to on the computer and do my stuff bcos i m not a person who could multi task. which i think is very sad. hahahaha. i dunno wad i really wanna blog abt but i juz wanna make my blog since alive. LOL. today is really juz any other day: hectic sch schedule, tough CCAS, teachers bu shuangness, and fatigue, everything juz falls into place. hahah. it was an average day. maybe i will post more on sat nite ba. haha. see wad God says. tml is CG and i m leading sermon D, i hope i can really wake those ppl up in my cg and help them to grow in the kingdom of God. smiles!!! nite.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
10:05 PM
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Sunday, July 08, 2007
today my entry would be very short and simple:
GOD HELP ME.
today's sermon really relate to me alot. i can totally understand wad pastor jeff is talking abt.those days were TAT DAYS. <Micah 5:10-15>. those days i went thru were the days God destroy and demolished. but i will continue to obey and trust Him. Confidence in Him, not me. true i am still sad and torn down, but i believe, God would help me. so my prayer today is, God help me, help me,help me,help me,help me,help me,help me,help me,help me!!!!!!!!!!! please. God will always help you, i believe Pastor jeff and i believe the Word. so God, help me.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
1:05 AM
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Friday, July 06, 2007
its had been a long long journey. on 4th July, i hit the pit of my life. i had nvr nvr ever felt so sad and demorlised b4. i got back my results of chem and maths. i got U for both subjects and i m really really sad. i did studied hard for the exams and i put in efforts to do them well, but in the end i did badly. Everyone expected me to do very well. i am top scorer of the class, appointed Peer Coach of the class, everyone looks up to me as a ''tutor''. but in the end i did fairly bad for exams.
its ok.
i reached home after rugby and it was quite late den i realised i got quite a few stuff to do and i was die tired. i did my hw, quiet time and find chords for worship for the next day and i nid to practice for it as well. i was at the peak of my stress level and i m die tired. juz den my mom asked me,' hey, have you eaten!!!' i replied hasty tat yes i have eaten and could you pls leave me alone. juz when i was abt to continue practising, my dad came into the rm, furious, asked me why i m so rude to my mom, he gave me a very harsh scolding. he realised it is outta stress den i did it, so he tried and ask.i couldnt take it anymore, i cried, very very very badly. in my whole life, i nvr cried tat hard b4. when my dad and mom came and try and console me and asked wads the prob, i juz walked away and ignored them. i nvr disrespected my father b4 no matter how unjusted he treated me. but i juz walked away and ignored them.
never mind.
thurs came, b4 i left the hse, my dad talked to me. he tried to console me, but in the end, i felt being tore down again.he said,' lets just put yest things behind and juz move on, DO YOU NOE MOM DIDNT SLP LAST NITE BECOS OF YOU??'so wad is he trying to imply? i m the at fault la? i brought all these onto myself and the family la? he offered me milo and bun, i threw them away when i reached the void deck.cg came, i tot i could juz relieve some steam them, but i was so wrong. i went them and i was so torn down by 1 of them. due to time constraint, i rushed the testimonal part abt my telling a joke to hint. but den i was reprimanded by 1 of the members for not being encouraging. i had to think of the other ppl who nids to go home early and tml we still have sch.
forget it.
today it was ok in sch but i reached home, i heed miss kat advice go and ask ur ST abt wad went wrong in exams. i had mr tan's email, so i msn him and asked. he totally tore me down into pieces and broke me into fragments.i told him i really put in hard efforts for the exams he done believe, in the end he compared me to jessica.i was totally torn down and i couldnt find words to say.
its too much for me.
i m seriously at the lowest point of my life. but tats ok, the worst thing is i have no 1 to turn to. NO ONE at all. my family? forget it, they think i m a burden. my cg? nah, they cant understand. my friends?i don have much.even i do, they don seem to understand. God? he is no where to be found. pls help me.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
11:03 PM
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