its had been a long long journey. on 4th July, i hit the pit of my life. i had nvr nvr ever felt so sad and demorlised b4. i got back my results of chem and maths. i got U for both subjects and i m really really sad. i did studied hard for the exams and i put in efforts to do them well, but in the end i did badly. Everyone expected me to do very well. i am top scorer of the class, appointed Peer Coach of the class, everyone looks up to me as a ''tutor''. but in the end i did fairly bad for exams.
its ok.
i reached home after rugby and it was quite late den i realised i got quite a few stuff to do and i was die tired. i did my hw, quiet time and find chords for worship for the next day and i nid to practice for it as well. i was at the peak of my stress level and i m die tired. juz den my mom asked me,' hey, have you eaten!!!' i replied hasty tat yes i have eaten and could you pls leave me alone. juz when i was abt to continue practising, my dad came into the rm, furious, asked me why i m so rude to my mom, he gave me a very harsh scolding. he realised it is outta stress den i did it, so he tried and ask.i couldnt take it anymore, i cried, very very very badly. in my whole life, i nvr cried tat hard b4. when my dad and mom came and try and console me and asked wads the prob, i juz walked away and ignored them. i nvr disrespected my father b4 no matter how unjusted he treated me. but i juz walked away and ignored them.
never mind.
thurs came, b4 i left the hse, my dad talked to me. he tried to console me, but in the end, i felt being tore down again.he said,' lets just put yest things behind and juz move on, DO YOU NOE MOM DIDNT SLP LAST NITE BECOS OF YOU??'so wad is he trying to imply? i m the at fault la? i brought all these onto myself and the family la? he offered me milo and bun, i threw them away when i reached the void deck.cg came, i tot i could juz relieve some steam them, but i was so wrong. i went them and i was so torn down by 1 of them. due to time constraint, i rushed the testimonal part abt my telling a joke to hint. but den i was reprimanded by 1 of the members for not being encouraging. i had to think of the other ppl who nids to go home early and tml we still have sch.
forget it.
today it was ok in sch but i reached home, i heed miss kat advice go and ask ur ST abt wad went wrong in exams. i had mr tan's email, so i msn him and asked. he totally tore me down into pieces and broke me into fragments.i told him i really put in hard efforts for the exams he done believe, in the end he compared me to jessica.i was totally torn down and i couldnt find words to say.
its too much for me.
i m seriously at the lowest point of my life. but tats ok, the worst thing is i have no 1 to turn to. NO ONE at all. my family? forget it, they think i m a burden. my cg? nah, they cant understand. my friends?i don have much.even i do, they don seem to understand. God? he is no where to be found. pls help me.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
11:03 PM
___