Sunday, September 30, 2007
Everything rises and fall with leadership. i have no choice but to agree. at first i was skeptical about it but after i experienced it for myself, i have no choice but to agree. there is a probability that i may leave church. i finally seen through all the acts of the leaders. they r just caring about wadeva "L" they r and they abuse their authority. they think they r some big shot. a classical example i rem is tat during breakthrough camp, a very "high ranking" pastor came to be a guest speaker, den during lunch time our youth pastor asked all the ULs and above to dine with him in a special room. why just UL and above? cant he dine with the rest of the youth? does it mean tat UL and below cannot even eat with a very godly man? wth. they r also rising up unspiritual leaders and letting non-deserving ppl to go to the youth support team. a good example is HER.(if u noe u noe.) she is obviously leading a double life and everyone is oblivious to it and thinking she is such a spiritual woman of God. everyone was bloody fooled. i have noe her for almost 4 yrs already. i can say i noe her inside out. from all the things that r happening, i noe this church is falling. throughout this year, i rarely see ppl crossing the line of faith in svc in front of everyone. but instead, the pastor would ask them to pray during their own time. WTH.no point staying. i rather do something for other churches den this unspiritual place.
another reason tat i may leave is that there is nothing left for me to stay in this place.my best friends left, my future wife i don think she likes me at all, even my cg is destroyed. redemption seldom jam anyway. usher is nothing to me now. my dream of going to YWAM is dashed as i would nvr want to go there when she is there. NEVER. i really don see the value already. nobody cares, no bodsy bothers, why i bother to? haiz... we will see how as the days go along. GOD, i believe You are just. please bring JUSTICE to the church and to me. i cannot stay in this corrupted place any longer. please help me God. HELP ME. i am weak but You are strong.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
8:03 PM
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Saturday, September 29, 2007
friday and today was very fun day. hahha. friday went out to marcus hse but realise no 1 at home so we have to turn back and go JE and ice skate with our bags full of stuff. the ice skate was fun but however our toes suffered kinda badly. ahhahah. got a few pretty girls to see. hahahah. so hot. den we went to eat botak Jones at bishan. didnt noe there is a branch at clementi if not we had gone there to eat already. i really had a great time with my friends. but erm, i am kinda foreign to weizi as he is not really part of the 4 of us. he just cant really seem to fit in. lol. after that we slack and talk abit at botak jones. it was around 11 when we finished. we went down to somerset to play pool till 1 plus den we went back and bath and slept. MAN my levi shoes were killing me man. it was just as small as my converse 1. man it totally defeat the purpose of buying this new shoes man. DAMN tat auntie man, i told her the size 9 she still give me size 8. when i asked her for a larger size, she didnt even look and she say don have. WTH. one day i m gonna go back and disturb tat auntie man. wasted my $60. zzzzzzz. we went to sleep after watching a few videos and woke up next morning damn late. woke up den we watch tv all the way den i went off to church and they went off to work. haha. and we parted. haha.
during svc i was late for ushering and i was reprimanded by Seng Kim obviously in front of the whole team. apparently i didnt give a damn. i was just drinking water and staring in the air. during svc i also realised tat i m not doing well. i tried to pray to God for refreshment and new strength. but it didnt came. i didnt ask anymore. but i just keep quiet and be still to God's voice. he whispered something so soft, i didnt hear but at least i felt better after svc. i rushed down after svc to go to my MATH teachers house. it was at yio chu kang. i didnt noe it was so nice. although it was only 1 storey, but it was very glamourous. teachers r rich. her daugther is cute and the food is nice. Mrs Praba has been most hospitable. THANK YOU! i really enjoyed myself there and i had some 1 to 1 time wit her. i wanted to ask her more things but i cant rem the questions. it was the 2nd time i ever went to a teacher's hse. but it was the first time to hav fun. haha. i seriously enjoyed myself and i loosen up my cool looks to bond with the class even i don feel lyk it. it is gonna be the last few times we r gonna be together, so i just let it all loose and just have fun.
overall can say tat i had fun these 3 days and i really managed to destress most of toil in JC. finally i am able to play and have some fun. i thank God for his blessings and smoothness for everything tat has come true this 3 days. all these fun and relaxation was absolutely timely.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
11:48 PM
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Friday, September 28, 2007
i am so so so tempted to blog today. TODAY IS THE END OF PROMOS!!!!!!!!! finally. waited for this day to come for very long. since the day of the school openhse, i had been studying hard for this promos. i serious wanna promote. when i look across the whole hall, everyone has the same focus:PROMOTE. i m lyk competing with over a thousand of them. i wonder. i had given my best bet already. the rest i leave it to God. if in His plan i am bound to promote, den i will.
today after a whole long yr of toiling and hard work, finally i am able to release all my stress in 1 go today. today was the most fun day tat i had had since the start of this year. we went to the "Jungle" to celebrate Mid Autumn Festival. hahahah. fangyi aaron jiahao deep cerlyn catherine hazel sheila and me were there. it was damn fun. we actually only expected 5 ppl to turn up, but in the end more than 5 turn up. it was good response. lol. haha. we really had fun, we talk abit, we set up a bonfire, we carried lanterns with sticks damn LONG. lol. we played with sparkles. we went mad on them. LOL. we were spinning them lyk crazy fools. but it was fun. it was tat part which destressed me ALOT. we were all dirty and sweaty but i believe, everyone single one of us had fun and we bonded and we really destressed. HIGH AR!!! i nvr been so high since i came into JC. though the moon is blur and ground abit wet, but nevertheless, we had fun. hahahhahhahahahahhahahaahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhah. SHIOK SIA.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
12:03 AM
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Saturday, September 22, 2007
finally i am able to turn on my computer with the least defect.i dunno wad happened, but my com seem to have suffered from some trojan virus. gotta reboot after promos man. loads of things to do after promos.gotta hav fun, work, reconfigure com and alot alot of things. i actually wanna continue studying but i guess i can forget it man. my mom is lyk nagging non stop to my brother, it is such a nusiance. it is giving me a headache and i cant study properly already. today i didnt stay after svc, i went home straight after that. i took the same bus home as carol. we had fun and we shared some stuff. she is kinda of a good listener, and i nearly poured out all my sorrows and burdens to her. hahaha. i had lyk only got to know her better thru the bus ride. it was great. objective accomplished. today service was an enriching 1 and God touching 1. Pastor Jeff preached with much convictions and much gusto. i was convicted but yet, i will do something after promos. nothing else matter more to me den my promos now. i came home den i studied geog. it was boring however i managed to finished human geog as it was kinda little. i hope i got it all in my head. started abit on phy geo as well. i abit regret watching abit of tv man. i lyk wasted 1 hr on tv. haiz... nvm, i will make it up later, when i m less agitated ad less pissed. calm my head and heart first. *breathing hard*
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
11:03 PM
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Friday, September 21, 2007
AHHHH finally it is the end of the week and i can be able to blog once again. haha.but however this week also means the start of my promos. i had just finished my GP paper. i had just sealed my fate. if i fail my GP, i can don need to see the rest of my papers and i can go straight to poly already. this promos means alot to me. it means alot to everyone especially to S12. if we r able to make it thru, it would show the rest and the teachers that S12 can do it and we are not as lousy as u think. it would be a great morale boost and emotional refilling after a whole year of critisism from the rest of the sch and by the teachers. had a kinda fun but embarrassing lunch with my classmates in Pizza Hut and we witnessed a fight between 2 guys. den i went home and configured my guitar pedalboard. i somehow got a very nice tone and i like it veyr much. den i had a short nap and i started studying already. tml i m gonna go church and come back home straight. i cant waste anytime playing and slacking. had a short talk with Hannah and it was kinda demoralising and emotional for me. i dunno y but i jus felt this way. haiz, actually don feel lyk blogging but just its a routine i have to do, anyway no body reads it. ok gtg.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
10:44 PM
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Sunday, September 16, 2007
today i went for my church annivasary. it was damn cool man. it was held at D'marquee at downtown east. it was a cool place there. it was the place where planetshakers hold their concert. it was veyr cool. i lyk it. haha. overall the annisary was a success. but somehow the youth congregration was kinda laid back and slack, not really into the celebration and stuff. maybe it is just me?? i not sure. i wore quite nicely today but the person i wanna show it to the most didnt come. so sians. i gonna prove to her tat i can be veyr handsome de, just tat i don lyk to dress up so much. hahah. 
this is a photo of how i looked yest. i was kinda amazed by myself also, hahah. didint noe it produced such a good effect. haha. after anniversary, i actually wanna go home and study but since the whole CG was here, so i stayed on and study with them. was kinda fruitful and i finally managed to read the Italy case study after so much obstacles.ahhahaha. after that kester wei song and i had a small but yet great chat. shan't reveal too much as it would be not really benefical to ur ears. hahah. after that ate at mac and then took a cab home as it was already 12 when we finished eating. it was a miracle tat my parents nvr scold me for coming home so late. i was so so amazed. hahah had fun in overall. somehow our cg atmosphere became less tense alreayd. tat is a good sign. thank God.
today i just stayed at home and study all the way. woke up kinda late today but nvm i had quite a good rest tat is impt. hahah. study all the way to 430 den i took a long nap till 7 and i study again from 830 till just now. now i m blogging all this down and doing some administration work. haha. after tat i mayb gonna chill abit, just sit down and SLACK. or just play abit of guitar, anything that i can relax just for 10 mins:)
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
10:28 PM
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Friday, September 14, 2007
fianlly its the end of the week again. its been a very tiring week and i cant seem to get eough slp. i had the darkest eye ring in my lifetime. i was so stupified. OMG. end of the week means promos r drawing nearer and nearer. i have exactly 1 week b4 the first paper starts. i noe this is gonna be it, i have no confidence in myself that i will promo, but i just wanna go there and give it my all and at the end of the day at least i can say, i tried and not gave up halfway:) I really hope God will give me wisdom and let me do this promos to the best tat i can. this week has been rather busy. i everyday slept at 1130 the earliest. partly due to PW, which we have to chiong the WR, but now it is finished.WOO!!! i was studying till so late as well and i had to do some adminstrative stuff like healthcare and cleaning up and stuffs like that. but it had been a fruitful week and i kinda enjoyed myself even though it is damn tiring. i must get a good night slp tonight man. MUST. today got back quite a few tests and did a few tests as well. i was amazed wad God can do thru me. i did quite well for the tests tat i gotten back and my chemistry teacher wrote words of encouragement on my script and i was greatly encouraged and motivated. THANKS TBP, THOUGH UR A JERK SOMETIMES! LOL!!! i got back my chinese and i did pretty well as well, even my teacher say it is done badly, but i looked at the overall and the conditions when we took the test, i think we fair pretty good. the overall cohort did just as bad. i sometimes wonder my mom suffers from mental illness, she would suddenly come intothe room and say you're a jinx jus becos i let the fan on till the next day. i was lyk, WTH???!!!! haiz... nvm i just have to bear with it. ok i poured out my thoughts and i really felt happy and jubliant and contented and tired but slightly irritated, and finally can let out a sigh of great relief. and now i gotta go to slp already. GOOD NITE.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
11:08 PM
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Sunday, September 09, 2007
its been a great these two days. yest got a word from God and i somehow felt happy the whole day. yest was a strange phenomenon. on the bus i saw alot of family going out for a family outing. it is such a rare sight to see. its hard to see this kinda of faily atmosphere here in Singapore. den during service God somewhat spoke to me and i had fun ushering. its fun. den for the whole day i felt kinda happy. i dunno the real reason, but somehow i felt happy:) but the ironic thing is tat i felt kinda mild for these two days. i don really lyk to talk and i don feel high at all. wierd. anyway, after service i went to study at emerald BK with HANNAH and my newly made friend, FENG HUI. haha SHIOK MAN!!! its was quiet there and the air con was right and everything was just perfect for studying. i studied quite alot.
today started out at 11. i met SHERMAN and when to peenisula plaza to jam. i was extremely mild and slience the whole day. SHERMAN was babbling on and on and my replies was 'oh ok, cool, hahah ok, ya right, yup, sure, *cold smile* '' and thats about it!! i was so wierd man. i just cant high myself up even after jamming. i was just mild and cool. maybe i m too stress over the coming promos. hmmmm. i gotten somethings. u guys r gonna be so in for a surprise next wekk. hahahhaha. ok gotta blast. LOL!
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
10:50 PM
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Friday, September 07, 2007
DAMN THAT FUCKING BITCH MAN!!!!!!! i am already stressed up enough and she come and poke a little here and there. she really noes how to stroke up a fire in me man. this person is none other than my mother. it already tough enough to be in JC without someone bugging u all the time. it is even tougher when some bitch keeps nagging at you to study when u already are studying. she LOVES to ask redundant and stupid questions and questions that r lyk 'DUH'. for instance," are you studying???" i was holding a book at my desk with soft music in the background when she asked tat question. of cos i was pissed off la!! it was such a stupid question. wad if i were to ask you ' are you eating dinner right now?' when you r holding a bowl of rice in the evening EVERYDAY? man, a tumbler at the brim would spill over even when you add a little drop of water to it. it is damn irritating and pointless to reply and ans. she ask this kinda of questions everyday of cos i don reply often la. you can see it for yourself, why ask stupid questions and disturb my peace which i can rarely get? DAMN her man. its hard to study JC especially without background knowledge, and with a mad dog barking at you everyday, its driving me crazy. on the surface, she say she don mind me going poly if i didnt do well for promos at the end of the year, but deep down in her WICKED heart, she MINDS TOTALLY. all she concerned abt was her FUCKING own face. she was afraid that the relatives and her friends would not have this awe anymore that her son is a JC student. COME ON, JC is a harsh environment and it is not easy to study, have u ever spare a thought for me? Never.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
10:20 PM
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Monday, September 03, 2007
today is the start of the one week september holidays. and i didnt started out pretty well. there are alot of rough patches here and there. i daresay this holiday will not be a enjoyable one. since yest, i have been studying for the whole day, today was no exception. yest nite i had to do a summary on the national day rally, and i used my friend's for reference since it is the most recent post. but den somehow my summary was somewhat similar to his. i admit i copied a few words from his and most of the last paragraph as i was pretty tired already so i wanna rush thru it and finsih it. i nvr expect he went to see it and was kinda mad tat i copied some of his work. its ok. i apologise for my SIN. i'm at fault to copy anyway. den today i don think i had a veyr fruitful study as i was kinda distracted. den at nite, my bro came back from malaysia. when he came back, my parents was all over him, asking how he has been( he was away for 3 days only), and caressing him with question abt his expedition. my bro also brought something from malaysia as well. when i walked past the hall to get a drink, my mom suddenly said," your bro go overseas noe how to buy something back for us, u lei? nvr get a single shit for us" i was ignoring her totally and i was pretty angry. when i came home from malaysia tat day, did u wake up half way from your sleep just to welcome me home lyk how u welcome bro home now???? its not that i am jealous or anything it is just tat they r showing favoritism and i am left behind. man i had been on a rotten luck man. i m not looking forward to a new day, cos i noe tml will be another bad day for me again.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
10:55 PM
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