pressure, stress, expectations. all pressing on me. i damn choked up. i gonna explode already man. under so much pressure, i still gonna go and take care of others and help others with their problems. haiz. today i got back my letter i wrote to myself 2 yrs ago. inside there is my gratitude towards God and my dreams tat i wan to achieve this yr, none was fulfiled. i was damn emo after i read my letter. after tat my shepherd read my letter and he somehow rebuked me saying that if u wanna live your dreams, u gotta live God's dreams first. i did nothing wrong by dreaming all these and he kinda say tat i will nvr achieve it unless i follow GOd's dreams. since when i DIDNT FOLLOW GOD'S DREAM! WTH. i went to the toilet, read it once again, and i flushed it down the toilet. since i didnt achieve anything in tat letter, y keep it? i didnt worship properly during svc as my heart was keep thinking abt the incident. i was rather sians during svc. alot of things r weighing on my heart and i really got no1 to turn to for help. i really couldnt pay attention to God and the svc today, i really couldnt, the letter incident, my fren dad died in a tragic way, the ' H' incident, all hit me, i really couldnt bring myself to worship properly without all these things clouding my attention.
Man, i m gonna end 2007 lyk tat? haiz. wad really sianed me today the most was my fren's dad who died in a car accident a few days ago. he died damn tragically and he is a committed christian who loves God lyk David in the bible. so r christians gonna died tragically??? he is the sole breadwinner of the household and God took him back to heaven in the time where the family nid him most? Is his work really done on earth?? i was kinda angry with God, i really wanted an answer, but i didnt got 1. haiz. may God bless his soul.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
1:06 AM
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