Friday, February 29, 2008
another week has come to an end. i m feeling rather emo rite now. this is a veyr bad way to end off the week man. this friday is the worst friday i had ever since the start of the year.
when i come to sch, i had to squeeze with others, den i rushed to sch to shit cos i having tummyache. den for math i had been dazing and we had so many test today. during recess we couldnt find places to sit. den after sch was even worst. i had consultation with ms tng. it was the worst consultation i ever had, i seriously wasted my time. i got snapped at by sanji, den i dun understand a single thing wad ms tng explained and the way she explain is as though i m a retard or something. den i told her abit of s12 thing den she flared up at me, saying i m not unworthy but as good enough as the rest, i was touched but also hurted. den it was cross country. i had no1 to run with. NOBODY. den i saw my cg ppl. den walked with them abit, den i did the most poseur thing. i run very fast past the girls den i stopped after tat. i was so ashamed after i think abt it. by the time i realised i m able to make it into the top 100, it was already too late. when i run past kester, i overheard him gossiping abt me. saying i hate everyone in the sch la, bla bla bla. den i had no one to go home with after the cross country afterwards as well.
i tot thru alot on the way back home. i tot i was loved by everyone and ppl think i m handsome etc, but i was so wrong. if ppl really love me, y i have no 1 to run with during cross country? why i have to go home alone? in fact i think i m jus a poseur. i tot i was somebody finally, but in fact i m nobody. worse than nobody in fact. i came home till now i had been emo and slient. i tried to divert my attention, but it worked slightly. i didnt do my quiet time and i didnt spend time with God and i deliberately sin against him and i delibrately don ask for forgiveness. i already come to a point tat i dun care. He can punish me for all i care, i m already in dire strait already, wad else could be worse?
the other days of the week? don bother, they r nothing compared to today.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
11:11 PM
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Sunday, February 24, 2008
today is shuyan and kester bdae. and there was constrasting difference on how we celebrate them. i celebrated for shuyan at fish and co and i didnt even wish kester a single happy birthday, which supposingly i shld be doing the opposite.today i went to celebrate shuyan bdae at fish and co with my classmates. it was kinda a bonding session and i kinda enjoyed it. i saw my friends out in their home clothes and i can see in their eyes tat looked at me differently as though i m a rockstar. HAHAH. after tast i rushed down to church and the atmosphere was really good and the drama was rather touching. haha. i didnt even wish kester a happy bdae and i ran off to meet sanji to study and gyming. had a great time studying and gyming. den out of the blue moon we were talking again quite deeply. hahaha. i asked him sensitive questions and he responsed truthfully and we grew better friends. hahaha. den now i m back at home and i had to prepare for lesson tml man. i really hope i can teach well. and i realised i still have quite a lot of work not done yet. tml i m gonna wake up and start on my work. no excuses already. exams are around the corner and i cant afford to fail. it is a very impt exam for me. i seriously cant fail it. GOD give me strength and wisdom.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
12:26 AM
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Friday, February 22, 2008
another week has gone and i m here to blog again. well this week has been rather average. nothing much really happened. just tat it is the start of JAE and new J1 are coming in. woah, this year's J1 are rather enthu and they r really high at orientation. but today i really wanna blog abt my cg and some random stuff.
well this week cg has been rather unfruitful. after cg i felt more unspiritual, supposely the opposite. we celebrated kester's bdae in his hse since it was his bdae on sat. cg was damn bad, worship wasnt prepared well, teaching no one was really listening and it wasnt really fun at all. Zixin was doing her self emo routine, excluding herself as usual. anyway, kester bdae party was prepared by his parents, we did nothing but eat. i dare confirm zixin dunno abt kester's bdae. not a clue. i seriously feel pity for this cg. i rather don go for cg seriously. i can use my time to study my weaker subjects. i wasted my time nvm, but i feel more unspiritual afterwards. tat is bad.
well, another thing is Redemption is disbanded,sort of. SHERMAN AND KEITH joined another band or created, called RocketQueen. man, i bought drums jus to practice for Redemption and they joined another band?! WTH. SHERMAN is really an asshole. he got into YWAM after being kinda unspiritual for a few months. i sometimes really wonder, i slog my ass off for God and all the good things goes to the people who jus do nothing and get all the credit. i start to feel this church is so fake and wad they say r jus pack of lies. ppl r having bgr and they r lyk ok with it and God is lyk blessing them and etc, people r not doing any shit and they r getting all the credit and blessings. as for me, i do more than at least they do, i got so so little blessings. this makes me wonder whether God is real and how effective the church is functioning rite now. this is so unjust ok, not unfair. this really sucks man, it really makes me wanna backslide and do my own things and forget it since no matter how hard i do, God dun bless me. they say no bgr. but now all the pretty girls are all being snatched up by others, all i can do is watch them go otu with their bf. this seriously sucks. mayb i shld consider wad aaron is doing. this churhc is getting from bad to worse.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
11:12 PM
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Sunday, February 17, 2008
today was saturday and of cos i go to svc as usual. today's svc was a ESS. we have a few ppl singing different genres. the singers r rather not up to standard i was nearly dozing off the end of the chair. other t han Gwen and Yushan, the rest really cmi man. today's service was rather new believer so it was really nothing for me. the unit didnt have much visitors. i noe if the cell is damaged, the body couldnt function well either.
after svc i went to COCA to collect my last pay which is only 18 bucks.haha actually i dun wanna take it but i realise 18 dollars is alos money, so i shldnt waste it. haha.
den the rest of the day is rather boring. i spend my day sitting with mila sandy winnie and xuanting at Carls Jr. jus chatting and drinking free flow drinks. my stomach is really preety full rite now. haha,
well, today is rather boring.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
12:55 AM
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Friday, February 15, 2008
WOOO! another exhausting week has passed and i m so relieved it did. it had been a rather fulfilling week and energetic week. this week is the chinese new year week and i was so beat coming back from malaysia tat i didnt blog abt it. man, this yr my hong bao really damn little man. i m gonna chiong hard to go and collect more in the coming week. i cant afford to get so little. this week has been meaningful. i had been making good relationship with my classmates especially the males. well it has been pretty successful. u can say tat i m kinda part of S06 rite now. but however exam r around the corner, so many things to juggle with, i wonder how m i gonna cope with it. oh wells, i leave all these up to God.
unit cg was not bad, although it was kinda boring, but i managed to know my unit ppl better. we went yishun for bowling. it has been two yrs since i bowl. on my first bowl, i got a strike. OMG. i cant believe it. my overall score was pretty good as well. i cant imagine how i did tat. and wad i really cannot believe is tat both my fav girls r my teammates(it is a competition). somemore, one is one turn before me and the other is one turn after me. OMG. wad a concidence is this??!!!! haha. i saw sandy eyeing at me hinting me something. HAHA. i was rather emo cause cg day was concidentally valentines day. so i noe she is going to spend her valentine with her Bf even after cg. haiz... yet so near but yet so far. HAIZZZZ.well, maybe i pick the other 1. the other 1 seem to fancy me. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
today was shepherding, Matt really fed me well. he fed me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. i really thank God for his time and effort and money. finally i can feel tat at least he is truly concern abt me, not because out of some obligation. and today is the teaching tat i learnt most. it was jus a new believer teaching, but it beats all the 'superior' leadership teachings i ever had.
ok tats tat!
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
11:27 PM
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Friday, February 01, 2008
wah. another end of the week has come. so thankful abt it. the last GP lesson was rather easily past as we had a test so time past rather fast. after sch i went to the GYM and workout once again, and once again, wyner they all was there. ZZZZ. i was so sians when they came in. i was hoping they will go away. i sprained or pulled my left arm somehow. and it is really hurting rite now. i cant really bend my shoulders and it is really sore rite now. after i came home, i injured my left ring finger. jus nice on the part where i use it to play the guitar. ZZZ. my left arm is lyk having loads of injures. DALLAS came to my hse and jam. we had a hell load of fun jamming man. his drum skills is not bad. he has loads of control but lack of speed. ME? have load of speed but no control. LOL.
to summarize this week, it has been a rather bad week man. a few mornings i woke up last and my mom fight to use water with me and things lyk forget to set alarm happen. this week the pace is rather fast and i cant seem to catch anything in class. i lose concentration very very easily so how i dunno why man. i really nid to get back my concentration power. LOL. the tests i had i think i m going to do badly for everyone of them. it is either i cannot think, or i too tired to start the test or i simply just cant understand how to do. ok i better stop typig. it really hurts man my left arm. GTG. BYE
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
10:56 PM
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