wow. its been two weeks i have blogged. this 2 weeks has been one of the most hectic week in my life. i had tuition 5 days out of the the 7days. OMG. i always saw the flinch on those JC graduates when i ask them how was J2, i now totally understand how they r feeling. J2 is really very stressful and the syllabus is going at full throttle. sometimes it was so fast that i cant even catch wad the lecturer or tutor is saying. sometimes i was jus lost. i m really worried for As. maybe u may see i m relaxed and all on the outside, but deep down, i always have this sense of stress whenever i think abt the days left to As. Wei Song today told me we jus left with 98 days. that is damn little. im starting to panic man. OMG.
i am like a chiongster for 2 weeks man. i finally decided to come to my orchard hse and just take a short break and start to blog and talk to people. if there aint CIP tml, i wont come to my orchard hse and take a chill pill. even now i m blogging, i have a set of lecture notes waiting for me in the living room for me to read up and go thru thoroughly. haiz... J2 is really damn stress man. i starting to feel the faitgue. i slp almost 1 everyday. i nid to talk to people, do my work. things r really getting on me. i really felt burnt out. i had hit my limit man. in JC, i nid to do alot more than my peers as i don have Amath background and I don have pure science. Thank God i am very smart, i can enter JC and promoted to J2 and complete my JC education in 2 years. my IQ really brought me disaster man. if i have a lower IQ, maybe i would have retained and den things wont be so stressful and so fasted paced for me. things are really going too fast and i dunno if i could catch up anot. i think i m starting to lag behind.....
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
10:11 PM
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I had to say, i nvr wished this week would come to an end as soon as possible. this is one of the worst week in my life. everyday a bad thing would happen and i would jus break down. i m so thankful tat this week has finally come to an end, and i think i m going back to the world quite differently.
tues, i got by most of my results, and i got U for everything tat i got for tat day. my Us r not like those high U, but it is really bad Us. i m devastated, i nvr got so bad results b4. this mid yrs was the worst i ever done in my 2 years in JC. i shld be getting Cs and Ds now, but instead, i mdoing my worst. i tot i gave God my june holidays and He will bless me with wisdom to study and show Himself evident in my studies. WOW, how 'evident' he is huh. i totally lost faith in God.
weds came and more results came and it wasnt as good. I got an S for econs. i gave my very best to do econs and i m only getting an S. i m so sad. den at nite, Kenny msged me and tell me he is not going to sch cos he cannot find his sch pe shorts. and the teachers will KB him and all, i was lyk can u stop being so childish. my results r alr occupying most of my mind, can u stop doing silly things to spike me.
thurs was some emo shit day for me. my best and only pal in church decided to leave church. and he is none other than SHERMAN. i was shocked and heartbroken when the news came. i really was at a loss of words. so jessie and i went down to his hse to find him. his heart was totally harden and there is nothing tat i can really do. i left my books just to go down and meet him, he appreciated it, but it made me no mood to go sch the next day so i went to orcahrd hse to stay and didnt go sch on fri.
fri was just a normal day tat i woke up quite late as i didnt go to sch.
sat was ok
sun was not bad, met up with my two good friends and we had dinner together.
thanks for all the people tat stood beside me when i was at the most low point of my life. i daresay i was on the verge of collapsing, but u people held my hands up and kept me from falling, thank you so much.
ppl lyk dawn, jessie jem, sandy. thank you all so much.
i m gonna lead a quite different life from next week onwards, i have a new element in life, i hope it will bring my life to a greater and more happy life. and if u all r gonna think tat i m some unspiritual crap, den too bad for u.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
11:26 PM
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today is youth day, and i went out with my SG friends. man i dare say they are a bunch of knowledgable ppl and zai in studies man. i feel so small beside them man. OMG. i feel so old too. i m the oldest there. goodness. went and eat sushi tei, it was my first time there and i really felt awkward when the rest has come to such places b4 where i haven. then they started talking abt some stuffs tat i really have no clues abt. even the name of the food i have trouble understanding. for example they talked abt this brand which i have no idea and the rest are going, ' ya OMG!! it s a very good brand', 'ya i lyk it very very much!!!' den i tot to myself, has church made me lost connection with the world? i ponder abt this qn for the whole outing and i have no ans to it. i feel so loser just now. completely. i aint getting much outta the church also, and i m contributing more than i receiving. Is this church just a scam? i really dunno. the church hiecharchy is so strong tat it starting to irks me. the politics inside it? HAH! dun talk abt it. i was drumming just now and i m kinda losing my touch to it, i cant feel the beat and i cant find good grooves anymore. i asked God to develop my gifts, not deteoriate it. i m in kinda in a puzzled state man.
I ask God sincerely to open up my eyes and see things properly. i tot He say we shall be the head and not the tail? how come i felt i m at the tail?? God, if you are real, would to speak to me in my dreams tonight. thank you.
As for whoever is reading my blog rite now, i wont tell u much....
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
10:36 PM
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AH!!!! FINALLY EXAMS ARE OVER!!! oh man this exams is one exams tat i studied my guts out man. i nearly died man. i studied until my head swelled literailly. lol. i hope all the efforts i had put in will reap results of equal sowing:) ah its been long tat i have blogged, too lazy and too busy with work. i cant find the appropriate time to blog too. haha but its ok.
God has been great this few weeks, after camp, i m very convicted and i started my music practice myself and by Lee Jun, i promise i will make it big one day. i believe my talents will glorify God one day and minister to ppl big time. Lee Jun has high standards for me, and i m not gonna let him or myself down. i m gonna work hard, pract hard till i play ASAP! i m capable for wad you all think i m ok. LOL
academically wise i have been improving, i can do some pretty hard tys and my chemistry is getting better each day. but all these assumptions will only prove when my results r out. if my results are still medicore, den i think i m really not suited for JC. thank God tat he gave me wisdom to all my answers in life and in the books.
hahah my plan is also succeeding. each day i get to noe them more and more, which is a good sign and so far, it has been good, nothing negative yet. haha.
ok i m tired, good nite.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
8:49 PM
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