WOW, WOW, WOW. look at how long ago since i had updated my blog. i don wanna do so today, but today marks an impt day thus, i had to commemorate this day. today is the last day of my JC school life. to many ppl, its a day of goodbyes, but to me, i feel rather numb about it. as i look for ppl to take pictures with, or someone that i can spend time with after the schoolhours, i realised i found none. suddenly, loneliness jus overwhelmed me. i tot i was emo, but upon closer examination, i was being factual about my surroundings. i felt so empty man. there were hugs and kisses around, but i jus stood aside and watch the ongoings of the many last goodbyes.
these 2 years had been rather tough for me, i struggled throughout these 2 years. sometimes i ask myself why i put myself through such pain and agony, but i realised for a better life ahead of me, i had to grind my teeth and press on ahead. if there is time travel, i will never choose to come back to either of these 2 years, 2007, 2008. NEVER.
jus to update about my life abit since its ages since i had blogged,
PHYSICALLY, i had shrunk in size. my muscles had 'deflated' and went into flat mode. i m damn sad abt it, i took great pains to train them, but now, i had to retrain them after As. -.- i look less robust and slightly thinner. sometimes i dun even dare to wear some kinda clothes.
MENTALLY, i think i had grown, since i jus drown myself with books and tuitions and consulations. i really need to mug man for this final hours. i think i am able to think faster and better now. but it comes with great price. i sacrificed my enjoyment and freedom. all my life is circulated now are tuitions, i have tuition almost everyday. can u imagine the money spent in it?
EMOTIONALLY, i seriously think i am in depression or something like that. with all the books and burden i have now, alot of things suddenly happened, and non of them are good things. if you know it, you know it, i dun wanna elaborate further. i think i really took a great hit emotionally.
SPIRITUALLY, well, to be really really honest, i am not exactly doing very well in church. i had alot of questions and doubts abt how the church is functioning and its really confusing me. my leaders do not meet me at all( maybe due to my As) and i seriously suspect some of my leaders don like me or have some shit against me. well, if that is so, you are not fit to be my leader, you are jus lyk everyone else, a judgemental FUCKER.
well, thats about my life now, its really in a bad state, pls, don add upon my weight, its really very heavy already.
THE ROCKER SHREDS. has posted on
1:22 AM
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