Le's. Blog.

2008-12-03T02:59:00.002+08:00

OH, its been long since i had blogged. but oh wells, today is a special day thus i will blog today. HAHAHAH. today is prom, i had nvr went to prom and i finally know how does it feels like to go to prom. it feels great to dress up at your best and eat a good dinner with your friends and classmates.

well, i always heard ppl choose the prom KING and QUEEN, i am so disgusted by the people of PJC, they really anyhow pick any tom dick harry to go and be prom KING and QUEEN, both of them are some ugly pieces of shit. isnt prom KING and QUEEN be andsome and pretty??? i really dunno what the hell was going on in the heads of the PJC minds. haha i serously think DAWN could be PROM QUEEN of YJC man. hahaha, if the people choose properly of course. GISELA stands a good chance too. hahah.

the food was medicore. i didnt had enough and i had to order Macs after i reached home, my table got extra ppl and the serving of food is the same. wth man, i didnt eat enough. DAMN IT.

after prom i went to DEEP's post prom clubbing event at the BUTTERFACTORY. this is the 2nd time i went to a club. it wasnt really very fun cos its really not my kind of stuff there, so i sit around and do nothing and i left the place really soon.

though prom was kinda boring and lame due to the poor host and idiotic ppl of PJC, but the first prom experience was rather fun and enjoyable. i kinda liked it.

2008-11-16T01:47:00.001+08:00

aftering thinking through really hard today, i think i am not fit to be a christian.

2008-11-15T00:23:00.002+08:00

finally, its over, its really really over. i really cannot believe my eyes, 2 years of JC jus pass jus like tat. i am partly nostaglic about it but yet glad it is all over. A LEVELS IS FINALLY OVER!!!!

this year's A levels was really tougher than the usual A Levels we expected. from the tys i had done, this year is the hardest of them all. i m really unlucky to be in this year. STUPID MOE.But, i studied my very best, practice to the best tat i can and i really gave it my all. hopefully, i might do well:) alright, though tis is a short post, but it means billions.

once again, its over.

2008-10-10T01:22:00.000+08:00

WOW, WOW, WOW. look at how long ago since i had updated my blog. i don wanna do so today, but today marks an impt day thus, i had to commemorate this day. today is the last day of my JC school life. to many ppl, its a day of goodbyes, but to me, i feel rather numb about it. as i look for ppl to take pictures with, or someone that i can spend time with after the schoolhours, i realised i found none. suddenly, loneliness jus overwhelmed me. i tot i was emo, but upon closer examination, i was being factual about my surroundings. i felt so empty man. there were hugs and kisses around, but i jus stood aside and watch the ongoings of the many last goodbyes.

these 2 years had been rather tough for me, i struggled throughout these 2 years. sometimes i ask myself why i put myself through such pain and agony, but i realised for a better life ahead of me, i had to grind my teeth and press on ahead. if there is time travel, i will never choose to come back to either of these 2 years, 2007, 2008. NEVER.

jus to update about my life abit since its ages since i had blogged,

PHYSICALLY, i had shrunk in size. my muscles had 'deflated' and went into flat mode. i m damn sad abt it, i took great pains to train them, but now, i had to retrain them after As. -.- i look less robust and slightly thinner. sometimes i dun even dare to wear some kinda clothes.

MENTALLY, i think i had grown, since i jus drown myself with books and tuitions and consulations. i really need to mug man for this final hours. i think i am able to think faster and better now. but it comes with great price. i sacrificed my enjoyment and freedom. all my life is circulated now are tuitions, i have tuition almost everyday. can u imagine the money spent in it?

EMOTIONALLY, i seriously think i am in depression or something like that. with all the books and burden i have now, alot of things suddenly happened, and non of them are good things. if you know it, you know it, i dun wanna elaborate further. i think i really took a great hit emotionally.

SPIRITUALLY, well, to be really really honest, i am not exactly doing very well in church. i had alot of questions and doubts abt how the church is functioning and its really confusing me. my leaders do not meet me at all( maybe due to my As) and i seriously suspect some of my leaders don like me or have some shit against me. well, if that is so, you are not fit to be my leader, you are jus lyk everyone else, a judgemental FUCKER.

well, thats about my life now, its really in a bad state, pls, don add upon my weight, its really very heavy already.

2008-08-15T22:01:00.003+08:00

WAH finally i am blogging after a very very long time. i really wanna blog man. it is really either i m too tired or i cant find the time or i am jus pure lazy. haha. finally able to pen down my thoughts properly.

recently, the first question people ask me is,' hey, how have u been? or how is your day?' i dunno why they are asking these, but my answer to those questions are rather generic and simple. 'BAD'. hahahhaha. these few weeks have been really bad weeks for me. it's piles of work after piles of work. OMG. in addition there are still some misc stuff to settle and all. i m really panting and i am running out of breath man. i feel so so burnout and i cant do a single thing abt it. i tried giving myself a break. i went out to jus enjoy a whole day, though i alr finished wad i m suppose to finish, but tat night i came back from the trip, i feel very very very guilty. lyk i alr wasted a day or something. the stress and toil are really getting up to me alr man. i noe i m repeating my stuff over and over again, but tat is really wad i m feeling now.

today i got counselled by DALLAS, SHI JUN and WEI YUAN. it was quite suprising and touching experience for me actually. i can feel the genuinity tat they really wanna help me in my JC life and my studies. i started telling abt my whole JC life and how i have been failing all the waya nd i m so sick of failing tat i m abt to give up to the point tat i m jus gonna give up on my prelims and do my final boost during the As. they decided to counsel me and talk some sense to me. i thought thru abt wad they say and it really makes sense man. i m really touched by them man. other than no one really show such concern for me. i was pretty touched. thanks guys, u guys rocks:)

i still have around 80+ days to A levels. i m really worried for it. teachers are telling us tat we have to get around straight Bs to get into a decent university. and now wad i m getting? Us? and Ss? how m i suppose to suddenly shot up to such grades? the tot of these reeallyt make fear grip my heart. i wan to study, but i feel so so so burnout and i got some many other things to do and settle. i wanan put them aside, but it is impossible to do so. haiz, will someone help me?

2008-07-25T22:11:00.002+08:00

wow. its been two weeks i have blogged. this 2 weeks has been one of the most hectic week in my life. i had tuition 5 days out of the the 7days. OMG. i always saw the flinch on those JC graduates when i ask them how was J2, i now totally understand how they r feeling. J2 is really very stressful and the syllabus is going at full throttle. sometimes it was so fast that i cant even catch wad the lecturer or tutor is saying. sometimes i was jus lost. i m really worried for As. maybe u may see i m relaxed and all on the outside, but deep down, i always have this sense of stress whenever i think abt the days left to As. Wei Song today told me we jus left with 98 days. that is damn little. im starting to panic man. OMG.

i am like a chiongster for 2 weeks man. i finally decided to come to my orchard hse and just take a short break and start to blog and talk to people. if there aint CIP tml, i wont come to my orchard hse and take a chill pill. even now i m blogging, i have a set of lecture notes waiting for me in the living room for me to read up and go thru thoroughly. haiz... J2 is really damn stress man. i starting to feel the faitgue. i slp almost 1 everyday. i nid to talk to people, do my work. things r really getting on me. i really felt burnt out. i had hit my limit man. in JC, i nid to do alot more than my peers as i don have Amath background and I don have pure science. Thank God i am very smart, i can enter JC and promoted to J2 and complete my JC education in 2 years. my IQ really brought me disaster man. if i have a lower IQ, maybe i would have retained and den things wont be so stressful and so fasted paced for me. things are really going too fast and i dunno if i could catch up anot. i think i m starting to lag behind.....

2008-07-13T23:26:00.002+08:00

I had to say, i nvr wished this week would come to an end as soon as possible. this is one of the worst week in my life. everyday a bad thing would happen and i would jus break down. i m so thankful tat this week has finally come to an end, and i think i m going back to the world quite differently.

tues, i got by most of my results, and i got U for everything tat i got for tat day. my Us r not like those high U, but it is really bad Us. i m devastated, i nvr got so bad results b4. this mid yrs was the worst i ever done in my 2 years in JC. i shld be getting Cs and Ds now, but instead, i mdoing my worst. i tot i gave God my june holidays and He will bless me with wisdom to study and show Himself evident in my studies. WOW, how 'evident' he is huh. i totally lost faith in God.

weds came and more results came and it wasnt as good. I got an S for econs. i gave my very best to do econs and i m only getting an S. i m so sad. den at nite, Kenny msged me and tell me he is not going to sch cos he cannot find his sch pe shorts. and the teachers will KB him and all, i was lyk can u stop being so childish. my results r alr occupying most of my mind, can u stop doing silly things to spike me.

thurs was some emo shit day for me. my best and only pal in church decided to leave church. and he is none other than SHERMAN. i was shocked and heartbroken when the news came. i really was at a loss of words. so jessie and i went down to his hse to find him. his heart was totally harden and there is nothing tat i can really do. i left my books just to go down and meet him, he appreciated it, but it made me no mood to go sch the next day so i went to orcahrd hse to stay and didnt go sch on fri.

fri was just a normal day tat i woke up quite late as i didnt go to sch.

sat was ok

sun was not bad, met up with my two good friends and we had dinner together.

thanks for all the people tat stood beside me when i was at the most low point of my life. i daresay i was on the verge of collapsing, but u people held my hands up and kept me from falling, thank you so much.
ppl lyk dawn, jessie jem, sandy. thank you all so much.

i m gonna lead a quite different life from next week onwards, i have a new element in life, i hope it will bring my life to a greater and more happy life. and if u all r gonna think tat i m some unspiritual crap, den too bad for u.

2008-07-06T22:36:00.002+08:00

today is youth day, and i went out with my SG friends. man i dare say they are a bunch of knowledgable ppl and zai in studies man. i feel so small beside them man. OMG. i feel so old too. i m the oldest there. goodness. went and eat sushi tei, it was my first time there and i really felt awkward when the rest has come to such places b4 where i haven. then they started talking abt some stuffs tat i really have no clues abt. even the name of the food i have trouble understanding. for example they talked abt this brand which i have no idea and the rest are going, ' ya OMG!! it s a very good brand', 'ya i lyk it very very much!!!' den i tot to myself, has church made me lost connection with the world? i ponder abt this qn for the whole outing and i have no ans to it. i feel so loser just now. completely. i aint getting much outta the church also, and i m contributing more than i receiving. Is this church just a scam? i really dunno. the church hiecharchy is so strong tat it starting to irks me. the politics inside it? HAH! dun talk abt it. i was drumming just now and i m kinda losing my touch to it, i cant feel the beat and i cant find good grooves anymore. i asked God to develop my gifts, not deteoriate it. i m in kinda in a puzzled state man.

I ask God sincerely to open up my eyes and see things properly. i tot He say we shall be the head and not the tail? how come i felt i m at the tail?? God, if you are real, would to speak to me in my dreams tonight. thank you.

As for whoever is reading my blog rite now, i wont tell u much....

2008-07-01T20:49:00.002+08:00

AH!!!! FINALLY EXAMS ARE OVER!!! oh man this exams is one exams tat i studied my guts out man. i nearly died man. i studied until my head swelled literailly. lol. i hope all the efforts i had put in will reap results of equal sowing:) ah its been long tat i have blogged, too lazy and too busy with work. i cant find the appropriate time to blog too. haha but its ok.

God has been great this few weeks, after camp, i m very convicted and i started my music practice myself and by Lee Jun, i promise i will make it big one day. i believe my talents will glorify God one day and minister to ppl big time. Lee Jun has high standards for me, and i m not gonna let him or myself down. i m gonna work hard, pract hard till i play ASAP! i m capable for wad you all think i m ok. LOL

academically wise i have been improving, i can do some pretty hard tys and my chemistry is getting better each day. but all these assumptions will only prove when my results r out. if my results are still medicore, den i think i m really not suited for JC. thank God tat he gave me wisdom to all my answers in life and in the books.

hahah my plan is also succeeding. each day i get to noe them more and more, which is a good sign and so far, it has been good, nothing negative yet. haha.

ok i m tired, good nite.

2008-06-13T14:16:00.002+08:00

hmm izzit long tat i have blogged? i dunno man. anyway seldom ppl come and see wad my blog has to offer. well actually ppl do come and visit my blog secretly. hmm

wow camp jus blown my mind away man. this is one camp tat i thank God tat i have nvr missed. the previous camps are jus some emotional thing for me, but this camp is some conviction for me man. i set 6 camp objectives which is the most camp objectives i have ever set, and God met them all. i was totally amazed how God can work man. for example i ask God for wisdom, He didnt jus tell me James 1:5, but He told me exactly how to get it. wah i so amazed.

my conviction for this camp is tat i wanna be a great musician, and not just some halfbaked poseur. i asked God to develop my skills in camp and my skills really improved alot. my singing improved, my guitar skills improved and my drumming skills improved too. i pray they continue to improve and develop as i use them for God. initially, i have some self motive to wanna play for the church, but after camp my motives changed and i really wanna play for God to minister to His people in a great great way. tats y i ask sherman whether i can play asap because i really wanna impact and minister to the church asap. so convicted.

lastly, i just wanna say tat God's plan are really seamlessly woven. b4 i go to camp jessie told me tat the crescent girls don really like me and have a bad perception of me, but after camp jessie got to know me better and she told me i was totally opposite of wad they think i m. i was amazed lei. finally i changed the neagtive picture i have in the crescentians. WOAH, how amazing. another thing is tat God really convicted me abt you-dunno-who. she is really the right one for me man. TOTALLY!!!! den i realised God told me now because i wont have my eyes on any other girls den i can easily reach out to the J1 girls without anymore awkward feelings or wrong motives. den at this age i noe, i can slowly work up our relationship and in the end, end up in courtship. HAHAHH!!! WAH. this is so timely. God's plan is amazing. but whether she will be my future wife still depend alot on me la. hahha. ok i shall not reveal too much abt her. hahha. GOOD BYE> GOD CONVICT U TOO!

2008-05-31T23:38:00.002+08:00

WAH. finally pre u sem is over. OMG. i tot pre u sem is gonna be lyk boring and all. but it is the totally opposite of wad i tot it would be. OMG. i totally loved it and i learnt alot of stuff from it man.

monday was jus team building games. PJ sorta lost our way in the campus. LOL thus we were kinda late. hahaha. den we were separated into our Seminar Groups. this is totally different from our orientation group. ppl r initiative in making friends and building contacts. no shyness, no paiseh or wad so eva. team building games was alright, but abit cliche.

tues was the start of 'blazer' day. haha. we had parallel presentation which is lyk we have to sit thru and watch other group present. it was really great. and i learnt alot from all of them. then it was the digital chase. it is the only programme tat i dun lyk in pre u sem. it was so tiring and there is alot of mis planning. it was bad. but it somehow brings our Sg closer. hahah.

weds was jus another day of parallel presentation. OMG. HWA CHIONG INSTITUTION is so really really good!!!!! i tot they r jus good. but didnt noe they will be TAT good. gosh. den we have this Asian Filmfest. well the movie was not bad but the discussion was crap.

thurs was jus another day of presentation and everything. den we have sandcastle challenge. my sg sandcastle was kinda crap. i think we were too ambitious in making our sandcastle. it is too big for 25 ppl to build it. den at nite we stayed up late to enjoy one another for the very last time.

fri was the time to say good bye to one another and head for home. i was so tired tat i slp for 17 hrs straight. lol

strong ties has been forged and great friends has been made. totally pre u sem has been awesome. i learnt immensely alot and i nvr tot it was gonna be so great. my intial objective was jus to get a great testimonial and tats it. but i nvr tot i would great such a great experience and knowledge from there. it was a wonderful trip and my mindset and all changed since then. i m really refreshed mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. but i m physically drained as i jus slp for 5 hrs each day and i didnt slp for the last nite.

2008-05-23T21:47:00.000+08:00

there is nothing this week acutally. haha./ it is realyl an hectic week this week and the weather is OMG. DAMN HOT!. hais....

2008-05-18T19:14:00.002+08:00

well my week was rather a above averaged week. but the weeks to come is gonna be horenddous even if it is holidays. =( well i today m going to blog abt wad happened on sat.

well sat i have pre u seminar briefing. and it starts at around 9 in NTU but i nid to go to sch lyk around 740 lyk tat. so troublesome. zzz. den it ended lyk around 11 plus. well i saw Gisela and Dawn. they were right behind me. hahaa. den i made an IJ friend from my seminar grp. i dunno y i m so excited for this pre u sem thingy. but i think i m gonna have quite abit of fun i guess. hahaha. den after the briefing is over, i went home with Gisela, Dawn and Lavanya and Stef den i headed down for svc.

Svc was awesome. Pastor Jeff told an extra amount of jokes tat kept Kester and gang rather entertained(; but the teaching was inspiring. i do agree we shld be more proactive in reading the Word and love the Word as though it is our life. after svc i went and study with Sherman. den he told me tat i would be able to play after camp(earlierest). i was overjoyed. but at the same time, he told me tat his shepherd had alot of bad comments abt me, but no good comments. i was devastated. i tot i was some good guy from church, but maybe i was just another poseur like Chris. i was absolutely downcasted at that moment. den i went drinking with sherms. i had to admit, i was drunk although i didnt show to them. i head was spinning and i feel lyk puking. i kept talking nonsense to myself and i was rather emo. and i jus kept shouting crap.

it is really sad to hear tat no one have any good comments abt you but instead all the bad comments abt it. that really reflects how i m as a person. maybe i m just a poseur lyk Chris, afterall, my parents r a bunch of losers. so i m from them so wont it make me a loser as well?haizs, maybe i shld jus remain as a bacehlor my whole life and not ruin some good girl's life. =( =(=(

2008-05-11T22:21:00.003+08:00

AHH!!! finally able to log into BLOGGER. zzz. hahah ok. after a long week decided to blog though i kinda forgotten how was my week.

i shepherd KENNY on monday and he really give me some grilling man. SHEEP do bite. talked to him abt his relational stuffs and he doesnt seem to get what i m trying to put across to him. he keeps denying the facts and just wanna hold on. oh wells, if he wants to do it, that is his shit. i done my part to advise him but he don care den i have nothing to say.

tues was nothing.

weds was quite slack for me

thurs i have tutition and i missed cg. the damn tution teacher have something on on weds so i had to change to thurs and made me miss cg. after tution i decided to log into msn for a while. den jeremy came to talk to me abt playing onstage and all. hahah. was so excited abt it. nearly couldnt slp tat nite. LOL. haha now i jus have to await for jon tay's approval and reply. haha.

fri i went to marc hse to stay and it was such a damn good way for relaxing all the stress man. lol. i went to watch iron man at nite. the graphics was ownage. lol.

sat had church. was damn tired.
ok so tat is pbascially my week. GTG.

2008-05-02T22:17:00.003+08:00

its friday again!! and i m here to blog. i realised from feedbacks from my friends tat they cant get into my blog. haha that is a good and bad thing at the same time. good as in i could write wadeva i want and no one would comment, bad is tat no 1 will be able to see my desolated posts. haha. where there is pro and con for everything. hahahha.

this week has been another hectic week in sch even there is a public holiday on thurs.

i had NAFTA this week. this NATFA can say it is the most impt NAFTA tat i have ever taken in my life. it determins whether i m gonna serve army longer or shorter. and luckily, i managed to shorten my army life. hahaha. but the sad thing is tat i cant get a GOLD which can give me a leg up to be in the commandos. thanks to my standard broad jump and some stupid teacher, i got a D for it. and i fail to meet the critieria for GOLD. ZZZZZ. but never mind, at least i can still retake it.

i finally able to buy my ipod touch tml!!! omg i m so excited. i decided to get the 16GB 1 since my friends all recommended me to do so. and i managed to finally sell off my IPOD nano to someone!!! though it is not the price i wanted but at least it was acceptable, and since she is my caregroup member, i have no choice but to give it to her lower than the usual price. hahaha. but oh wells, at least someone is interested.

on weds i had shepherding with JOHN TAY. hmmm. he is rather funny and crappy. but however when he comes to the things of GOD, OH MY GOD. he is very serious abt it. but, i don seem to be afraid of him like the rest do. instead i was looking forward to his uncany challenges. i m gonna defeat them one by one. he is really one unique shepherd i have even if it is the first time i met him. i noe i m gonna get something great from him. but time will tell. hhahhaha. ok den tats all. anyway the weather now is realyl damn HOT!!!! from mon till today, i woke up sweating every morning. feel so irritated and uncomfortable waking up full of sweat. ZZZZ

2008-04-27T01:02:00.002+08:00

AHHH! its been rather a while since i posted an entry. had been rather busy and stuff. J2 workload and stress levle is catching up on me man. i start to have those heavy eyebags under my eyes man. well this week has been rather normal but mentally i was rather attacked.

in school, through out the week there has been ppl insulting me, saying tat i dumb and all. it really affected me alot. my ego was damn bruised. on 1 day, i emoed for no reason at all. ZZZ. den i got a feeling tat i am the one tat ppl hates after chris. i feel so lousy and my heart just hurts. my emotions were rather unstable this week. i go and buy 4D i dunno why. so random and u noe wad, no number i bought came out. not even close. feel so pissed and annoyed. maybe i am not cut out to win such money. hahahaha.

thank God thruout this week of torment and emotional crisis, i always have comforting touch from him. though i dun feel it very tangibily, but i somehow noe at least He is doing something:)today i saw her looking at me intently. and i deliberately looked back at her for as long as she looked at me. hahahahaha. MAYBE SHE IS THE ONE. I DUNNO. hahhahahha. today sermon was pretty great. it really inspire me to use my giftings to really serve the KINGDOM to the best tat i can. whatever i am given, i wanna use it to glorify the King. one sentence Michael said really touched my heart:' God died to give us the best gifts that He can ever give, the best way to thank Him, is to use these gifts to tell the others about what He has done for us'. this really inspire me alot and i couldnt wait to serve in the worship ministry. in the past, i think tat it is pretty cool to do so, but now i have a passion to do so. so God would You continue to aniot me with better skills and better timing so tat i can serve the church to the best tat i can. AMEN.

2008-04-11T22:38:00.002+08:00

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!1 hahahha. well this week finally was a average week man. the past few weeks was rather bad or rather good. not balanced at all. haha. well my bdae was rather over already man. and i only received a pathetic 1 present from sheila. but haiz. nvm, haha. i m secure in the LORD. i think. hahaha. this week has been a rather hectic week. i slp at around 11 plus everyday and i wake up at lyk 6++. today is especially early, i woke up at 6 and i reachd sch at 7. haha. but it was rather fruitful. i studied the bible and i believe my relationship with God has improved. everyday without fail, no matter how tired i m, i will still do my quiet time and read at least 1 chapter. now as thad goes to the army, i will have new shepherd and i will have new sheeps as well. well i dunno whether i am up to the task anot, but i noe i will give my best even my limitations r rather alot since i m J2 and i didnt really do pretty well for common test. i reallly nid extra time to study and less time in the ministry and play and all. my sat is also burnt man. i cant believe it. finally, my good friend CLIFFORD, has retained, i m so gonna miss him. although we have been friends for jus a while, but it was great being your friend man. but life still continues. i have completed the song, 1st draft. hope u guys would lyk it:)

2008-04-06T00:49:00.003+08:00

i have forgotten to blog and i cant blog on friday and i m now finally blogging at sat nite when i can find time. this week has been a really special wekk. because it is my BIRTHDAY WEEK!!!!! YEAH!!! let me just blog about my birthday.

weds was the actual day of my bdae. it was a rather short day. i tot i was gonna have a boring bdae tat i would spend at home sleeping and all, but instead, my classmates suprise me wit such a bang. i was so so touched. they sang the song the loudest as they can, they only gather together as a class to celebrate someone's bdae only the 2nd time, and the fact tat i was only their classmates for 3 mths plus and they did such thing for me, i was seriously overwhelmed and touched. at nite i went out with my S12 ppl. well it wasnt really fun as i spent the most money even when i was the bdae boy. but nvm, haha. i think i rather enjoyed myself.haha

thurs my cg celebrated for me. i tot they forgotten or something but they didnt. they have a big birthday cake for me and all. it was rather well prepared.:) thanks.

on sat, which is just now, sanji recelebrated my bdae as he thinks i didnt have a good bdae celebration on weds. it was really good fun man. i seriously enjoyed myself and he treat me billy bombers and movies. thank God for him and those who came. i really had alot of fun. thank you.

thru this bdae i also noe how much i mean and value to the ppl around me. from the presents and cards i received and the encouragements from ppl. i noe how much i mean to them. so far i have not received any presents. to me my love language is gifts. so no presents i feel tat ppl dun love me or something lyk tat. but maybe it is just me being oversensitive or wad. but that is just wad i feel. so i hope i will received alot of presents soon. i don mind belated presents. haha. i jus nid to have some physical recognition. HAHAH. i m lyk tat la. haha

2008-03-29T00:10:00.002+08:00

TGIF. THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY. finally this week has came to an end. i had nvr hoped for an week to end tat soon b4. this is one of the worst week tat i had man. it was really very bad.

monday- no school.
tuesday- got back most of my results and i got an low U for my maths and econs case study. i was feeling damn emo tat day. i put in alot of efforts trying to do my best for common test.
wednesday- for 5 hrs of lessons i got scolded badly and on the way home i was rather sian and all. got back a GP graded assignment and i was the lowest in class.
thursday- cg. ppl r lyk wierd and zixin scolded us lyk mad jus because we were hungry and go and eat first without informing her. WTH, so wad u r a leader? don throw ur weights around at us lyk tat.
friday- i tot it would be better. i got back my GP and Econs essay, all U. it means tat i had failed my common test, very badly. i was rather emo the whole day. matt wanna meet me but he fall asleep and wan to meet me at 6 instead. nvm, he came late. WTH! den it was raining damn heavily and all. girls looked at me in a wierd manner lyk i was some freak and all.

this week has totally sucks. i nvr wan another week lyk tat again. not a single good thing happened. my birthday is next weds. it is really close. i dun feel lyk celebrating or anything. cos i noe my birthday isnt something to be celebrate of.

2008-03-21T20:45:00.002+08:00

oh finally exams r over and i really glad they r. now i m gonna relieve all my stress away man. hahaha. i did it by going to sentosa today. haha. i was the emcee for the thing. but emcee also boliao 1 la. basically ii was jus gathering everyone and making a fool outta myself. i tot i would really enjoy myself quite a bit but haiz, i think i don really enjoyed myself pretty well.

firstly, the program start way way way late from scheduled. lyk 3 to 4 hrs behind the scheduled time. wth? den the games i have explain it for the gamemaster. i m lyk jus the emcee but i almost did everything. so wadeva la. den the game is very messy and ppl jus kept talking among themselves nvr listen to instructions. it was very hot also. i burned my back very badly. actually it was alright but at the end of the program, i was so disappointed with both of my leaders. SO SO DISAPPOINTED. they r so not well-spirited. they lyk ruined the ending part man.

i saw with my own eyes tat thad was lyk so pissed off when luke tried to push him down the sea after everything. its not that he don have clothes to change or anything, but it is jus pure arrogance and pride. the worst thing is tat he lost his temper. although not everyone saw that, but i saw it with my own eyes. then zixin is so so much worst. just because we were waiting for someone den she walk off alone in front, she scolded us and lost her temper rite in front of the visitiors. wad a 'good' example of leader she is setting. i was on my way home, den i was thinking thru, and i noe why our grp nvr had any visitors for any events. it was because we have incompetent leaders and distorts God's anioting.

2008-03-15T22:08:00.002+08:00

ell well well. this week has been a rather heavy week for me. although i stayed at home for almost everyday. good thing is i save money, bad thing is tat i damn bored at home. this week is holiday week but it is no relaxing holiday for me man. it is a MUGGING week for me. after this holi, it is the common test. if we do not do well for the common test, we r gonna go back down to J1. which is none of us wanted to. so i cooped myself in the room everyday for morning til the night just to study. so far studying has been rather fruitful, but whether i can rem on the exam day or wad i studied is relevant is another question. i seriously hope i can do well for common test man. it is really a gauge not jus for the sch but for me as well to see how ready i m for A levels.

today i went to svc den i came back home immediately after tat, as i wanna continue my revision and i aint feeling very well as well. i didnt even had dinner with them and i rushed back. well i have to say, today's revision isnt really good. it was alright but aint perfect. maybe it is just tat i m not used to studying on sat as i NEVER DID. haha.

ok gotta pen off here, though i realise nobody reads my blog i still post entries as if ppl reads them. but oh wells, ahhahha.

2008-03-13T23:24:00.002+08:00

i seriously am feeling so so bored and emo tat i have to blog. my younger cousin is now beside me playing my drums, he seriously got some natural talent man. he knows how to hold the stick without being taught and his rolls sounds pretty nice, and he is only 12 years old. anyway, tats not the point.

i feeling so lugubrious and depress man. in short, feeling emo. i realised tat around me, i dun have much friends. practically zero friends. a friend tat i can share my problems with, not some hi bye friends. my nature seriously dun allow me to make much friends. i m aggressive, solemn, unfriendly, anti social, insecure, introvert. its seriously hard for me to make friends man. so so hard. hard to make friends nvm, i realised i losing my current friends one by one. it is either they betrayed this friendship or its me who decided to break off this friendship. i totally hate this man. a sense of loneliness and helplessness just sweep into my heart. i so hate tat feeling. maybe i shld change, i have been trying hard but to no avail. i hope some miracle would happen in my life. i always see miracles happening in other ppl's life, but i dun see a miracle in my life at all... i really hope one would happen really really soon. i m feeling so helpless and desolated and i really need a miracle to boost, not more catastrophes and disasters and problems and mischaps.

i sometimes really wanna turn to BGR for friendship, but i realise tat is not wad i m after. it is a true brotherhood tat i require. a person tat i can talk crap and share my manly problems with.

2008-03-07T22:28:00.002+08:00

AHHHH!!! a week has gone and i m so much closer to common test already!!! i already did my GP paper and it is really really hard. thank God it wasnt jus me who think it is hard. almost everyone say so. even our teacher told us beforehand tat it is hard. well this week wasnt so bad but the following week is not gonna be so good even it is holidays. i nid to study for the common test which is immediately after the holidays. i seriously nid to chiong for this common test. if i fail it, tats it, i m going back to J1. i seriously cannot afford to do so man. NO NO NO. i finally able to integrate into my new class and now u wan me to go back down to J1 and restart everything again? i seriously cannot take tat blow man. NO WAY. so no matter wad i must keep myself afloat at J2. cannot slack and i m gonna give in my all. EVERYTHING. NO CUTTING SLACK NO NOTHING. today and tml i jus relax abit and then the rest i chiong already. no rest. jus chiong and chiong and chiong and chiong.

this week's cg was so so better without the presence of zixin. i have nothing against her, but jsut tat without her presence everything seem so much better and cg was 1000X better when she isnt around. i believed everyone enjoyed the cg and for so long, i finally enjoyed cg. this has been the first time in awhile tat i nvr regret going to cg. HAHA. so as my deductions was rite, zixin has alwyas been tat cap of PJ's cg. but just tat i have no authority to do any shit nor anyone is listening to me. everyone is backing zixin up jus becos she is a leader. as i m just a small fry, so wad i say doesnt carry any weigh. HAHA.

so whatever, i just do my minimal part for my cg and tats it.

2008-02-29T23:11:00.002+08:00

another week has come to an end. i m feeling rather emo rite now. this is a veyr bad way to end off the week man. this friday is the worst friday i had ever since the start of the year.

when i come to sch, i had to squeeze with others, den i rushed to sch to shit cos i having tummyache. den for math i had been dazing and we had so many test today. during recess we couldnt find places to sit. den after sch was even worst. i had consultation with ms tng. it was the worst consultation i ever had, i seriously wasted my time. i got snapped at by sanji, den i dun understand a single thing wad ms tng explained and the way she explain is as though i m a retard or something. den i told her abit of s12 thing den she flared up at me, saying i m not unworthy but as good enough as the rest, i was touched but also hurted. den it was cross country. i had no1 to run with. NOBODY. den i saw my cg ppl. den walked with them abit, den i did the most poseur thing. i run very fast past the girls den i stopped after tat. i was so ashamed after i think abt it. by the time i realised i m able to make it into the top 100, it was already too late. when i run past kester, i overheard him gossiping abt me. saying i hate everyone in the sch la, bla bla bla. den i had no one to go home with after the cross country afterwards as well.

i tot thru alot on the way back home. i tot i was loved by everyone and ppl think i m handsome etc, but i was so wrong. if ppl really love me, y i have no 1 to run with during cross country? why i have to go home alone? in fact i think i m jus a poseur. i tot i was somebody finally, but in fact i m nobody. worse than nobody in fact. i came home till now i had been emo and slient. i tried to divert my attention, but it worked slightly. i didnt do my quiet time and i didnt spend time with God and i deliberately sin against him and i delibrately don ask for forgiveness. i already come to a point tat i dun care. He can punish me for all i care, i m already in dire strait already, wad else could be worse?

the other days of the week? don bother, they r nothing compared to today.

2008-02-24T00:26:00.002+08:00

today is shuyan and kester bdae. and there was constrasting difference on how we celebrate them. i celebrated for shuyan at fish and co and i didnt even wish kester a single happy birthday, which supposingly i shld be doing the opposite.today i went to celebrate shuyan bdae at fish and co with my classmates. it was kinda a bonding session and i kinda enjoyed it. i saw my friends out in their home clothes and i can see in their eyes tat looked at me differently as though i m a rockstar. HAHAH. after tast i rushed down to church and the atmosphere was really good and the drama was rather touching. haha. i didnt even wish kester a happy bdae and i ran off to meet sanji to study and gyming. had a great time studying and gyming. den out of the blue moon we were talking again quite deeply. hahaha. i asked him sensitive questions and he responsed truthfully and we grew better friends. hahaha. den now i m back at home and i had to prepare for lesson tml man. i really hope i can teach well. and i realised i still have quite a lot of work not done yet. tml i m gonna wake up and start on my work. no excuses already. exams are around the corner and i cant afford to fail. it is a very impt exam for me. i seriously cant fail it. GOD give me strength and wisdom.

2008-02-22T23:12:00.002+08:00

another week has gone and i m here to blog again. well this week has been rather average. nothing much really happened. just tat it is the start of JAE and new J1 are coming in. woah, this year's J1 are rather enthu and they r really high at orientation. but today i really wanna blog abt my cg and some random stuff.

well this week cg has been rather unfruitful. after cg i felt more unspiritual, supposely the opposite. we celebrated kester's bdae in his hse since it was his bdae on sat. cg was damn bad, worship wasnt prepared well, teaching no one was really listening and it wasnt really fun at all. Zixin was doing her self emo routine, excluding herself as usual. anyway, kester bdae party was prepared by his parents, we did nothing but eat. i dare confirm zixin dunno abt kester's bdae. not a clue. i seriously feel pity for this cg. i rather don go for cg seriously. i can use my time to study my weaker subjects. i wasted my time nvm, but i feel more unspiritual afterwards. tat is bad.

well, another thing is Redemption is disbanded,sort of. SHERMAN AND KEITH joined another band or created, called RocketQueen. man, i bought drums jus to practice for Redemption and they joined another band?! WTH. SHERMAN is really an asshole. he got into YWAM after being kinda unspiritual for a few months. i sometimes really wonder, i slog my ass off for God and all the good things goes to the people who jus do nothing and get all the credit. i start to feel this church is so fake and wad they say r jus pack of lies. ppl r having bgr and they r lyk ok with it and God is lyk blessing them and etc, people r not doing any shit and they r getting all the credit and blessings. as for me, i do more than at least they do, i got so so little blessings. this makes me wonder whether God is real and how effective the church is functioning rite now. this is so unjust ok, not unfair. this really sucks man, it really makes me wanna backslide and do my own things and forget it since no matter how hard i do, God dun bless me. they say no bgr. but now all the pretty girls are all being snatched up by others, all i can do is watch them go otu with their bf. this seriously sucks. mayb i shld consider wad aaron is doing. this churhc is getting from bad to worse.

2008-02-17T00:55:00.003+08:00

today was saturday and of cos i go to svc as usual. today's svc was a ESS. we have a few ppl singing different genres. the singers r rather not up to standard i was nearly dozing off the end of the chair. other t han Gwen and Yushan, the rest really cmi man. today's service was rather new believer so it was really nothing for me. the unit didnt have much visitors. i noe if the cell is damaged, the body couldnt function well either.

after svc i went to COCA to collect my last pay which is only 18 bucks.haha actually i dun wanna take it but i realise 18 dollars is alos money, so i shldnt waste it. haha.

den the rest of the day is rather boring. i spend my day sitting with mila sandy winnie and xuanting at Carls Jr. jus chatting and drinking free flow drinks. my stomach is really preety full rite now. haha,

well, today is rather boring.

2008-02-15T23:27:00.002+08:00

WOOO! another exhausting week has passed and i m so relieved it did. it had been a rather fulfilling week and energetic week. this week is the chinese new year week and i was so beat coming back from malaysia tat i didnt blog abt it. man, this yr my hong bao really damn little man. i m gonna chiong hard to go and collect more in the coming week. i cant afford to get so little. this week has been meaningful. i had been making good relationship with my classmates especially the males. well it has been pretty successful. u can say tat i m kinda part of S06 rite now. but however exam r around the corner, so many things to juggle with, i wonder how m i gonna cope with it. oh wells, i leave all these up to God.

unit cg was not bad, although it was kinda boring, but i managed to know my unit ppl better. we went yishun for bowling. it has been two yrs since i bowl. on my first bowl, i got a strike. OMG. i cant believe it. my overall score was pretty good as well. i cant imagine how i did tat. and wad i really cannot believe is tat both my fav girls r my teammates(it is a competition). somemore, one is one turn before me and the other is one turn after me. OMG. wad a concidence is this??!!!! haha. i saw sandy eyeing at me hinting me something. HAHA. i was rather emo cause cg day was concidentally valentines day. so i noe she is going to spend her valentine with her Bf even after cg. haiz... yet so near but yet so far. HAIZZZZ.well, maybe i pick the other 1. the other 1 seem to fancy me. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

today was shepherding, Matt really fed me well. he fed me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. i really thank God for his time and effort and money. finally i can feel tat at least he is truly concern abt me, not because out of some obligation. and today is the teaching tat i learnt most. it was jus a new believer teaching, but it beats all the 'superior' leadership teachings i ever had.

ok tats tat!

2008-02-01T22:56:00.000+08:00

wah. another end of the week has come. so thankful abt it. the last GP lesson was rather easily past as we had a test so time past rather fast. after sch i went to the GYM and workout once again, and once again, wyner they all was there. ZZZZ. i was so sians when they came in. i was hoping they will go away. i sprained or pulled my left arm somehow. and it is really hurting rite now. i cant really bend my shoulders and it is really sore rite now. after i came home, i injured my left ring finger. jus nice on the part where i use it to play the guitar. ZZZ. my left arm is lyk having loads of injures. DALLAS came to my hse and jam. we had a hell load of fun jamming man. his drum skills is not bad. he has loads of control but lack of speed. ME? have load of speed but no control. LOL.

to summarize this week, it has been a rather bad week man. a few mornings i woke up last and my mom fight to use water with me and things lyk forget to set alarm happen. this week the pace is rather fast and i cant seem to catch anything in class. i lose concentration very very easily so how i dunno why man. i really nid to get back my concentration power. LOL. the tests i had i think i m going to do badly for everyone of them. it is either i cannot think, or i too tired to start the test or i simply just cant understand how to do. ok i better stop typig. it really hurts man my left arm. GTG. BYE

2008-01-26T23:58:00.000+08:00

AHHH. when the bell of the last lesson of friday rung, i let out a sigh of relief. another hectic week has ended. well it has been a rather moderate week for me. well, a week of blessings.

firstly, i had a rather fruitful mon and tues. i managed to closen up the gap between my new classmates. but somehow i lost my concentration power. i drift off very easily and i cant seem to get the topics taught. it is getting harder and harder!! GOD i need UR WISDOM!

weds i went to donate blood. it was a first time for me and i m really nervous and excited abt it. wah, all the procedures make me more and more nervous. but the pain of the needle cannot overcome the warmth of my friends tat stood around my chair and say comforting stuffs and trying to distract me from the pain. i really appreciated it alot man. manage to talk to some of them and we really had a great chat around my chair. i can feel the warmth man. thank you guys, you guys brighten up my life.

thurs i had cg but it is a dinner. before tat it was raining heavily and i cant get out of school. so i went into the library and talk to sanji for a while. den as we talk we got better and we kinda lyk open to one another already. we talk quite a while and we became FRIENDS not acquiantances. cg dinner was alright and we had quite a good laugh.

friday was really a good day. i continue to build my relationship with sanji and i hope it is getting better. Econs test was kinda bad, i think i m gonna flunk it la. den i went to gym with sanji after sch. wah training with him really helps. den i went down to woodlands to buy my guitar and ipod. i bought my guitar and it is really cheap and really good. and u noe wad? it is the last piece. OMG!! den i went to buy my ipod, it is the last piece also!!! but it is reserved so i gonna check back on mon to see whether i can get it. I PRAY GOD U LET ME HAVE IT! PLS!!!!!! my creative is kinda cranky and i nid to change already. GOD HELP!!!

2008-01-18T22:32:00.000+08:00

another week has come to an end. well it started alright but it ended kinda bad. mon tues and weds was fairly ok. it was rather good and peaceful and everything went smoothly. but thurs and today was kinda bad.

had cg on thurs. b4 cg i dunno wad has gotta into everyone and they started scolding on another, getting pissed over the slightly thing. we prepare zixin bdae and thus we are late. i was so reluntant to do something for her bdae man. but in the end we still do something la. on the bus to cg venue, aaron began telling me what a GREAT leader zixin was. how caring, how sacrifical, how loving she is. i heard each scenario and each case, the more i felt indignant. i m lyk, where has her promises to the grp gone to??? den i realise, all she do was jus plain talking. NO ACTIONS, NO NOTHING. i felt myself dragging to pray for her bdae wishes. school on thurs wasnt really good as well. i got scolded by my chem teacher for making a mistake for the first time. she didnt even give me a chance to amend myself. mind you, i m in this class for 3 weeks only and she didnt tell us her expectations for us. WTH. JASIMA REALLY SUCK.

today is just as bad. i finally able to mix with the guys. but somehow there is this premonition in me tat something bad is gonna happen or their gesture is fake. and today i tried my all to control, but in the end i still did it. tat is why my day crashed.

i had always tried to be kind to ppl. but i realised thru this week tat it doesnt pay to be kind and keep a lookout for others. they all just took me for granted and they took advantage of me. they know i will always do the 'dirty' work, so they always wan me to do it. i seriously wasted my time worrying for ppl and helping those ingrates. all i m asking for is just don hurt me. i m not asking u guys to pay me back or anything. BUNCH OF ASSHOLES. from today onwards u all can go die for all i care. i m just gonna keep a lookout for myself only. HELL WITH U ALL.

2008-01-13T21:33:00.000+08:00

today was a rather packed but fulfilling day for me. i had fun and i had work. haha. first in the morning i went out to go and eat with Aaron, Jerel, Dewen, Kai En and Gordon at city hall there. we had some dim sum buffet. We eat until we explode sia. it was damn shiok. hahah. it been long i had eaten so full. and we had so much laughter and we laugh so loudly tat the whole restaurant can hear us. we are damn spastic and extreme. the thought of it makes me wanna laugh! HAHAHAHA! damn we(aaron me kai en and gordon) went to esplanade to just sit down and chill out. we had fun reminsciencing abt our hong kah days and we talk alot of crap. haha. it was really fun. den at 3.30 i nid to go for jamming at tanjong pagar. . i reach there on time but te rest was late so we kinda jam a while only. we had a special guest called JESSIE. i dunno y she was there but she made me feel uneasy. den keith damn bad to dinesh. he asked dinesh to carry his stuff and set up the equipment for him as though he is his servant. to me this jamming session isnt really fun for me at all. the drumset at Lcube sucks and ppl r late and there is this special guest tat makes me feel uneasy. in addition, i was pretty tired. so it wasnt a really good jam for me. the songs we played aint very sychronized or very good. it was jus anyhow play, anyhow strike a note. i was rather pissed and disappointed la. den on the way home i was rather quiet as i was tired. den i reached home, i bath and i started studying geog cos there is a test on tues! DAMN IT! today was a fruitful day and i enjoyed it, especially the dim sum part. it was damn fun. i wouldnt mind having another session lyk tat. hahah.

2008-01-11T23:08:00.000+08:00

a week has passed and i had yet to fit into my new class. though there are more communications between one another and less tensions in the presences of one another, it is still hard to break into the cliques. but it is gonna get better. i knew it. workload has been average so far, and i haven been really studying. all i was doing was playing drums and have fun and slacking. i felt abit guilty over it. but seriously i really nothing to do. i completed my assignments and i had revised my work. thankfully i asked my friends and they too are having the same problem as me. HAHAH. so all of us are on the same boat. today i got back my first test on economics. not exactly a test but my first marked work of the year. guess how much i got?? i got 8/13!! man it is a B!!!! i cant believe it. i look around and i got better than most of my classmates. it is a pretty good start to a new acadamic year. i hope i can continue to get such good grades for the rest of the year. GOD HELP ME IN THIS YEAR! i would nid more of Your sovereignty in my life and more grace and more wisdom!!!

CG was ok this week. i led sermon D and to me i think it was a disaster. no one really listened to me and i had a hard time getting their attention rather than teaching. it is really bad man. den Zixin still commended me for doing a good job. i think i totally ruined the sermon la. seriously. i didnt impart wad i want to impart and ppl jus take it as a chit chat session. u noe wad matthais do when i ask them to discuss to their partners of a particular qn i gave them? he was busy seizing this opportunity to chit chat to his partner, Aaron. so much for a leader huh? wad a 'GREAT' example he has demostrated.

this week has been an alright week with me. i tot it would be disastrous with the heavy workload and new friends to make and cg to take care, but in the end God took care of most of them for me. thank You God.

2008-01-06T22:24:00.000+08:00

tml is a new week. a real JC2 week and not some orientation feeling Jc2. i wonder how will it be like. i noe the first 3 days of sch has been rather slack, i m catching none of the winds of JC2. tml woudl eb the real first week of school. i duno how it will be like. but i think i m not really ready. i had been rather slack man. i study but yet i also play alot. i shld study alot more than i play man. i cant afford to slack this yr man. i will give my life this yr to chiong for my studies! but first i gotta make some friends man. if not it is gonna be so hard to survive in this new class. i gotta break into the guys clique. I GOT TO!!!! ok i gonna slp soon and i hope God will path my way for THIS YEAR! GOD HELP ME!

2008-01-04T22:43:00.000+08:00

man wasnt i excited to go to sch man. every morning was very cold and i shiver everytime when i came out of the bathroom after a morning shower and i dunno y i always wear a singlet to slp. back to school at JC2 was not a bad start for me. except i had to wake up very early and slp very little again. i have new class, 07S06, new teachers, new friends, new vision, new goal and of cos, new challenges. the moment i step into 07s06 i noe this is gonna be a fun class. i somehow felt an attachment to this class even i was just in this class for 3 days.hahaha. the class isnt really very united as one, but there is a alot of cliques. the unity within the clique is strong. so its a good and bad thing for me la. its shows unity, but its hard for me to break into it. somemore this class has very little guys, only 6 of us. but the guys r rather friendly and they accepts me into the MALE gang. haha. i felt so awekward going around classes with girls, and i cant feel the topics they r on. haha. the teachers have new expectations for us and are more stricter than b4. i say i've got better teachers than i have in s12.

JC2 is really not a easy yr man. i heard all the teachers telling us, Jc2 is gonna be hell for us and it is gonna kill us. truthfully, i am kinda scared. i scared i cannot even stay thruout in Jc2. i nearly couldnt make it for Jc1, i noe the feeling of not able to advance. it is really scary. i also haven been studying much, i had been more occupied by the computer and the drums and slacking. i m really scared man. but when teachers ask qns, i can ans them. but i noe it is gonna be alot different doing exams qns. haiz. i really dunno how to start studying and help myself. i pray God would give me a direction and guide me thru this studying craze. GOD HELP ME.

2008-01-01T20:48:00.001+08:00

HEY ITS A NEW YEAR!!!! finally i send away 2007 and welcome 2008! i was rather happy when 2007 ended. it has been a problematic and rather sad 2007 for me. i daresay it was one of my worst year in my life.its the first time i felt wad is real stress. i noe 2008 would be double the stress, tat is definite, but i hope it would be a good year regardless of the amount of workload and stress i have to handle. may God bless my 2008. i hope i would be able to get thru A levels quickly and easily. God nid to help me man. really really nid to! haha. i cannot do this on my own. i nid God's wisdom, anioting, power and strength and courage. i nid every dose of God's power to get thru this year. most imptly, this yr i wanna spend it happily. last yr was kinda emo for me, i didnt felt happy or joyous, so i wanna start this yr with great joy and attitude!! its a brand new beginning, without any bad things of 2007, i m gonna march into 2008 with a victorious mindset and i m gonna have joy in my heart for this year!

2007-12-31T15:44:00.000+08:00

today is the last day of the yr. this yr has been a really bad 1 for me. i experienced stress for the first time in my life. alot of bad things happened and not alot of good things happened. i had my life's worst birthday and i m in the worst class in the whole college of over a thousand ppl. damn. i took time to evaluate myself thruout this yr and i realised tat i had matured and changed thruout this yr. those stressful studies made me become a more quiet and dao person, those bad things tat happened moulded me into a better person( although some of the bad things tat happened have no help in my life at all other than make me sad). this yr i really have nothing to thank God for la. this yr has been kinda bad. wad i could really thank God for, is his presence when i needed him. sometimes when he isnt there, his comfort is there. He is always there for me. i really hope this yr can pass asap so that i can have a new yr a new chapter to begin. i hope next yr would be a great 1 and next yr i could be a bright shining star for Jesus.

2007-12-30T01:06:00.000+08:00

pressure, stress, expectations. all pressing on me. i damn choked up. i gonna explode already man. under so much pressure, i still gonna go and take care of others and help others with their problems. haiz. today i got back my letter i wrote to myself 2 yrs ago. inside there is my gratitude towards God and my dreams tat i wan to achieve this yr, none was fulfiled. i was damn emo after i read my letter. after tat my shepherd read my letter and he somehow rebuked me saying that if u wanna live your dreams, u gotta live God's dreams first. i did nothing wrong by dreaming all these and he kinda say tat i will nvr achieve it unless i follow GOd's dreams. since when i DIDNT FOLLOW GOD'S DREAM! WTH. i went to the toilet, read it once again, and i flushed it down the toilet. since i didnt achieve anything in tat letter, y keep it? i didnt worship properly during svc as my heart was keep thinking abt the incident. i was rather sians during svc. alot of things r weighing on my heart and i really got no1 to turn to for help. i really couldnt pay attention to God and the svc today, i really couldnt, the letter incident, my fren dad died in a tragic way, the ' H' incident, all hit me, i really couldnt bring myself to worship properly without all these things clouding my attention.

Man, i m gonna end 2007 lyk tat? haiz. wad really sianed me today the most was my fren's dad who died in a car accident a few days ago. he died damn tragically and he is a committed christian who loves God lyk David in the bible. so r christians gonna died tragically??? he is the sole breadwinner of the household and God took him back to heaven in the time where the family nid him most? Is his work really done on earth?? i was kinda angry with God, i really wanted an answer, but i didnt got 1. haiz. may God bless his soul.

2007-12-23T01:05:00.001+08:00

today was christmas svc. i didnt really enjoy myself well cos i was ushering. den i went for the christmas party at sentosa, it was crap as well. i was so bored by it. most of my prayers today aint fulfiled. i dunno y. is it i no faith or wad. WAD HAPPEN GOD! haiz. nvm, not blaming anyone, jus don understand y. sherman didnt got better from his emoness. i was quite guilty. i didnt spend much time with him and i kinda neglected him jus now at the party. sians... den he went off on his own. ARGH. he wasnt really touched by the svc. totall opposite of wad i prayed. the christmas party wasnt really fun, the food was average and it wasnt really alot. it is not worth my 16bucks man. the standard of this church is getting from bad to worse. haiz...

i had a great chat with SANDY, i finally able to pour out my deepest feelings and sorrow to someone. i really nid someone to talk to. someone who would understand and give me the ans i wanna hear. she told me new findings and i was kinda devasted by them. but haiz. i was so sure. tat is the main point. i wouldnt be so sad if i wasnt so sure. DAMN IT!

2007-12-21T22:41:00.000+08:00

wow.. a week has gone and sch is drawing closer and closer. i dunno whether i m prepared for J2 life man. somehow i think it is gonna be a breeze but a voice in my head says it is not gonna be. christmas is around the corner and i can feel the festive atmosphere in here.i m also getting ready for this festive season to celebrate. i went to the best christmas party i ever been organised by jessica and her parent. it was a wonderful nite for food and fun. it was so great.the food was plenty and the food was marvellous. the gift exchange was great too. it was overall great. christmas svc is also coming lyk tml? but somehow i cant invite someone down for christmas. most of them are either going to some other churches or they have some family thingy going on. anyway the wait is worth it. i finally BOUGHT MY DRUMS. it was a better model den the one i wanted. and my parent r willing to subsides me quite a fair amount. i m glad i had waiting and didnt place an order tat time on an impluse.it was great man. i noe God is trying to teach me a lesson which i shall not elaborate here.

the BGR incident still left a deep cut on my heart. but it is getting better day by day. iseriously hope someday good things woudl happen. i shall not talk much about this. my BRO IS IN TROUBLE GOTTA HELP HIM NOW.

2007-12-19T23:01:00.000+08:00

i m so bored tat i have to come and blog man.OMG. i miss those working days tat i could have at least something to do and get some cash. but now i m too too bored. nothing to at all. i only have the computer and tv as my source of entertainment. my drums haven come yet and i had sold my guitar. OMG GONNA BE BORED TO DEATH!!! but i got a really good rest this week. finally thru all the whole yr i finally can slack for abit. HAHA. its been almost a week since the day i known the truth. i still have problems getting over the whole incident. i m really disappointed in her man. how could she do such a thing!haiz. i guess i was jus dreaming all these while. since the beginining i knew there was something different abt her to me. as we got closer and closer, i was so sure, so sure that she would my wife in the future, but she went and had a BF. i was so heartbroken and disappointed man. i really couldnt get back on my feet lyk tat. i tried to divert my attention from this, but i just cant do it. haiz. what is yours, is yours, it can never be taken away from you. tats all i can hold on to. but i m not very positive abt this whole thing. wad i can only do is hope and pray. any actions taken would lead to further heartbreaks and more troubles. i cant do anything man. NOT AT ALL. haiz.

2007-12-16T01:51:00.000+08:00

today i got to noe more abt our unit has alot of bgr. now i noe y we didnt grow. we aint purified. COME ON!!!! in a unit having more than 5 couples is really too much. a unit is at least 15 ppl. so it is lyk 1/3 of the ppl BGRing. WTH!!!!!! i really feel burden. i tot i was incompetent and useless, but no, it was the ppl's hearts. they r not ready to receive, to be transform. In camp i wasnt really ready, but during today's svc i think i receive more than wad i received from the 4 days of camp. i teared and i really received something great from God. my life from today onwards aint gonna be the same again. wad is so great abt BGR??? those hugs? comfortable but not satifying.having sex???? i noe wad is lyk. after sex u would feel guilty? the company??? jus the two of u under the coconut tree veyr fun meh? acutally wad i m really sad abt is that ******* is also part of this filth. i m really disappointed and sad abt it. i cant believe it man. the woman i love so much and seriously tot could become my real wife in future already has a bf? i m really devasted and upset abt it. maybe she isnt my wife after all. all these while i had been just a naive little idiot. i m so so stupid. i guess, i chose the wrong girl. i seriously heartbroken when i noe all these. very very heartbroken. perhaps she aint mine at all in the first place.

2007-12-14T01:50:00.000+08:00

i guess i didnt do anything for the cg at all.

2007-12-13T11:51:00.000+08:00

woah!!! just ended camp and just woken up from a very very long slp. well obviously i m gonna blog abt this camp since i had been doing nothing but camping for the last few days.hahaha.

this camp has been a rather boring and bad camp. to me this camp is one of the worst camp i ever attended. maybe it is kinda last min prepared by the camp com. i didnt really have fun in the camp, my camp objectives arent really met at all, i didnt got a personal touch from God. however, during the last nite, somehow most of my camp objectives are met in just a click. God didnt made a transformation in my life, but He did in Kester's life. and tat was my first step in rebuilting PJC. u think Kester would outta the blue come for camp and be ready to be touched by God? i doubt so. without my encouragement and challenge and excitiment, i don think he will be tat changed. i can tell u Kester is 180degree different. Zixin has also changed. she apologised for being ignorant abt the PJ and she is now ready to lead to grp once again, with fire and passion for the team and with real commitment from the tone of her voice during her challenge at the last nite.

but somehow i was scolded for leaving the team and abandon the team and stuffs lyk tat, ever since i left, i had been doing alot of 'behind the scene' work. you think stef would suddenly make her role so good for cg and wei song so hyped up for God once again? if i didnt talk to them, they wont realise and wont do anything. God did move in their hearts, but thru me as a vessel. however i was scolded for being tat silent vessel. nvm i don give a damn whether i m affirmed or noticed, as long as God sees it i'm fine with it.

this camp although didnt help me to meet God in a tangible manner but however it helped me to understand God in a different perspective and see people in a new way. even it is a bad camp, i learnt to love ppl and open up and be not so dao. LOL.

2007-12-08T19:38:00.000+08:00

today is a great day man!! i finally ended my work, FOREVER!!!!!!!!!! omg isnt this great? i finally don nid to receive the insults from those loser malaysians anymore!! YEAH!!! so happy. i m gonna get my pay on the 10th of Dec and i m gonna get my drums after camp. these few weeks has been tough but it is all worth it. actually i did learn and trained alot during these work periods. without those loser malaysians insults and critics, i guess this workplace would be very nice for me. hahahah.

tml would be camp, 9th to 12th. this camp as i had observed, is rather last min prepared by the camp com and i think alot of things have not been done up yet. but wadeva. i dun give a damn about the games or teaching or P&W or wadeva go wrong in the camp. all i hope is tat nothing goes wrong when i meet God. i seriously nid a refill in my tank from God man. to be honest, i dun think i m really doing kinda well. with all the negative influences around me, it is hard not to be stain. so i wanna be cleanse by God and be changed for good this camp. i had set my camp objectives and i pray that God would meet every single 1 of them. God i really wan a new life, this current 1 is really sinful and boring. give me a new goal, a direction for my path ahead of me. Lord all i want this camp is You. not the music, not the games, not the teachings, but You.

2007-12-02T00:44:00.001+08:00

WOOOOO this is so divine. God seriously have a plan. today is swee lee sale(some musical instrument sale)and i asked a brother to help me get a double pedal. when they came back from the sale, i took a glance at wad they bought. no double pedal.i was lyk sunken and sad. i suddenly couldnt focus and i was very annoyed. during worship i couldnt concentrate at all. i was thinking abt the pedal all along. den God spoke- cast all ur worries to me and concentrate on worshipping. so i calm myself down and forget about my pedal and jus worship God. after that i just forget the pedal already. if don have den nvm loh. den during dinner, some random guy called me,it was tat brother. he say he randomly bought 1 double pedal and asked me whether i want it. it is better than the 1 i wanted. but now he called me and say the church drummers maybe want it. so i dunno wad the verdict at the end. if i nvr get it, its ok:) i admit i m sad la definitely, but if God nid my pedal, den take it. at most i use my leg and kick loh. HAHAHAHA.

WORKING IS TOUGH. had to say this over and over again. it really sucks man. hahah. with all the insults the malaysians r hurling at me and the toughness of the work. on top of tat, u had to put on a wide smile to face the customers.it is really tough man. haizzzz... i kinda emo. i guess my chances of getting my pedals r lyk 10%?? hahaha. nvm God has a plan. even if i don get my pedal in the end, the whole incident is still divine.

2007-11-27T00:22:00.000+08:00

recently i have been working really hard. i seriously wan to get my drums. i almost got the money ready. gonna buy it soon. but working at COCA really really sucks. ppl there are a real torture man. they think they r some big shot while they r nothing at all. all those bloody malaysians there think they r some professional as waiter. but at the end of the day, they r just low class people with low class job. for me, i jus nid some quick cash for the moment. when i grow up, i will nvr be a waiter. not lyk some 19yr old malaysian who work there full time. he thinks he is damn clever and keep asking us to use our brain, pls he is the dumb 1. haiz. all the people there r a real pain. i cannot stand them any longer. i work until the 8th of dec and i m off this hell. On the 8th of Dec when i quit, i will be more happier than promoting to JC2. WAH FUCK TAT PLACE MAN. it is really worse than hell.
i had just sold my guitar away, was abit unwilling, but still i nid an upgrade of guitar. this guitar have accompanied thru my good times and bad times. when i m really sad and have no 1 to turn to,she is the one i will turn to and she nvr fail to comfort me or express my feelings out. now seeing her go, i really cant bear to part. SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND. GOODBYE.I LOVE YOU. thank you for all the times you brought to me. i love them. be happy in ur new home. at least i found u a good home. be good:)
i seriously very long nvr blog, but who cares? no body come and view my blog anyway since most ppl cant get in. haha. so i think i m not gonna blog till i got my pay and leave tat JERK PLACE. GOD HELP ME THRU THIS 2 weeks. GOTTA bear with the critics and crap. just a little longer......

2007-11-17T00:29:00.000+08:00

i realised i blog rather frequently than the rest of my frens. but a pity tat people cant see my blog man. i had it blocked. i really wan it to be read by as little people as possible. anyway i doubt anyone comes and read my blog. seriously.

anyway, this week has been rather monotomous as all i have been doing is work work work and more work. it is veyr tiring to work there man. the captains always breathe down hard on ur neck and u cant do much abt it. but no choice, for my drums and my luxury to come, i had to presevere on. CHIONG AR. at the same time, i had to catch up with my schoolwork as i had been promoted to J2. i mus make sure i understand my J1 stuff b4 i move on further to learn new stuff. the pace is gonna be jus as fast but the content will be doubled. i heard from my J2 frens tat if u think J1 is tough, J2 is worse. i cannot imagine my days to come. seriously. i had learnt my lesson from J1, i cant push everything till the last min to do, it is impossible to get everything inside. i nid to revise everyday and study every night. GOD has so graciously give me a place in J2, i must treasure it. i m gonna have tuition. for the next yr, it jus books and more books. no games or maybe jus a little to spice my life up.hahaha. but FOR A LVL, I WILL GIVE IT MY ALL. NO RESERVATION.

2007-11-16T00:15:00.000+08:00

its been 3 days of hard work at coca and i m getting really really tired. the physical tiredness has been conquered- i have no problems standing for 5 hours straight and carrying heavy dishes with 1 hand back to the kitchen. but it is the mental tiredness tat is torturing me!!! i cannot stadn those FUCKING captains who bosses u around while they themselves are doing nothign at all but just talking abt gambling among themselves. 5 captains, 3 are bloody loser malaysians and they so screw us the singaporeans. they r bloody unfair and biase. they made the singaporeans working do most of the work. mind you, 90% of the workers r malaysians so u can imagine how much shit work we sgreans have to do for them. WTH. i m gonna come out with a plan to screw them back man. I M NOT GOING DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT. if they wanna kick me outta of this restaurant, i make sure i bring them down with me as well. those FUCKING captains only noe how to breathe down ur neck and nag and scold you whole day long. even if u didnt do anything wrong. they jus wanna find something to kick our ass. i m so gonna make them pay. i will find a plan and make a hell outta their lives. FUCK IT U CAPTAINS. DAMN U ALL TO HELL.

2007-11-10T00:32:00.000+08:00

i seriously hope alot of ppl would read this entry. i seriously do. i finally realised how ugly and how arrogrant, how proud SINGAPOREANS r. i didnt noe the world was so so corrupted and ugly until i went to work at a restaurant as a waiter to earn money for my drums. as i work there, i saw alot of haughty rich ppl come and eat at the restaurant. they think they r some big shot and treat us waiters lyk dirt. for instance, a bloody DUMB CHEENA WOMAN wanted 5 items and i only bring her 1 wrong dish, she scolded me from head to toe. so wad the HELL??and she has alot of requests which could be done herself. as it is a buffet restaurant, ppl just kept ordering and ordering. at the end they couldnt finished and we will have to bring it back to the kitchen. wth. waste food loh. they always eat more than they can and waste food. FUCK them man. so wad if they have a few filthy money? they doesnt mean they can eat and waste food. they eat lykk nobody's businness loh. it is bloody disgusting to see it. as i work there i also overheard alot of customers' conversations and i seriously think they lyk to show off their things. for eg:" AIYA, this investment only half a million, no big deal to me!" or, " my husband is the senior partner of a law firm." haiz. it is really atrocious. as i work there i really see alot of the ugly side of SINGAPOREANS. they r really a haughty, disgusting, ugly lot. i seriously cannot stand them at all. wad a pity. i wonder how Singapore is so prosperous with such ppl.

but as i think deeper, i m a Singaporean too, does it makes me a ugly jerk as well? *shrugs*

2007-11-10T00:15:00.000+08:00

today is results day. the moment i stepped into sch, my heart thumped veyr very fast. i dunno how to explain tis feeling. it is a mixture of anxious and "wanna shit"LOL. i stepped into sch, Hazel was begging me not to go poly, i asked her y, she saoid i got promoted. i cannot believe my ears man. i totally cannot. i checked the noticeboard and i was really promoted. however i wasnt really very excited abt it. the class only 9 ppl got promoted. HAZEL, LAVANYA,SHEILA,HUDA,SHAWN LEE,JESSICA,DEREK AND ME. fuck it tat SHAWN LEE promoted. i was hoping she got kick out. she is such a wierd bitch. the rest, congrats!

hazel's result slip was mixed amongst the retainees so we went to LT3 to look for it. the moment i stepped into the LT, i can feel the down atmosphere so tangably. i feel for them. we found it and we left for the concourse. it was worse. ppl r crying, ppl r saying their last words and the atmosphere is really down. i couldnt help it but feel for those who cant make it.

the cg, only 5 outta 10+ made it to J2. it is very devastating.

2007-11-06T23:57:00.000+08:00

OMG, OMG OMG. i dunno y i keep repeating this same sin over and over again in a day. i dunno wad has overtaken me tat i kept doing this sin. i REALLY NID TO STOP IT!!! GOD can don forgive me, but GOD must help me change my ways!!! help LORD!!!! i cannot continue lyk this.I MUST CHANGE!!! QUIT IT ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!!

2007-11-02T21:54:00.000+08:00

1 week has gone. its been long since i had such a boring week. if i m not wrong, it is the first time in this year i can slack for a week. i totally have nothing to do, no place to go. and i really not used to it. throughout the year i have been toiling and toiling day and night. JC is seriously tough. but finally i can have at least 1 week to slack. suddenly i have nothing to do feels so wierd and unusual. as i had said, it is a boring week and i didnt do much except play abit of GB and practice abit of guitar. didnt really went out as u all might have noe, i m quite a homey. LOL. tml i seriously hope ot receive a call from COCA. if not i will be jobless and i can tear down my 'to buy list' LOL.

i will be having my OP this coming monday. i seriously hope i can do well. i have no worries for it as i m used to public speaking, just tat i cant help felling nervous. it is 40% of the total project. if i cropped up, it is so gonna affect my marks. the following friday would be my real JUDGEMENT DAY. it is the day tat would reveal whether will i promote anot. my fingers r crossed and i cant imagine wad is gonna happen on tat day. i really pray God would help me, even i think that He has been failing me recently. just help me 1 last time. i beg You.

2007-10-29T21:32:00.000+08:00

OMG i specially dedicated this entry to the hottest girl i ever seen in my life. she is an unknown caucasian that i met while eating in far east plaza sub way. man she is with her mom. i was looking, or ogling at her all the way la. she was kinda embarrassed i can see. LOL. she was looking at us also. after she bought her food, she sat down at a table in front me. OMG.i intended to wave to her when we going. but instead she left first. as she walk past my table, she looked down at us and we looked up at her. but we were so memerised until we cant pick up our hand and wave. lol. as she walk out of subway, sherman slightly smiled at her, she smiled back. LOL! OMG. SHE IS SO HOT!!!!! we got a chance man. she gave the green signal. WOOO!!!!! CAUCASIAN LADY, YOU'RE MINE!!!!!!!!

2007-10-26T22:19:00.000+08:00

today is the last day of sch. and the day 07S12 disbanded. i was ovverjoyed. finally i m able to leave the class that i hated most forever. the first day i step into the class i knew it wasnt gonna be a good class. i hit the bulleye.however no1 listened to me and everything started to came true.now tat we r disbanded, i m so happy and jubliant abt it. however i still have some reservations in my heart. today after sch i went out with a few of my closer classmates to eat dinner. when its time to go home, i looked at each of their faces i scanned and i think to myself: after today, i m not gonna see them again anymore, not even in the streets. after today our friendship would come to an end. i suddenly felt emo and slient inside of me. i really dunno wad to do. my mind went blank and i just know my life would be the same anymore. i noe i don lyk this class, but a few of them lit up my life in JC. without them, i wont be able to survive here man. thank you guys so muhc for sticking with me thru thick and thin. LOVE U GUYS. lets all work hard for the chinese A levels and get As altogether. GOd bless u guys

2007-10-23T20:54:00.000+08:00

today i got back my results. cant say i m totally satisifed with it and i cant say i m totally disappointed in them. it was just nice. i pass my everything except my maths. i already expect tat to come as i didnt focus much on math although i didnt give up on math. the rest i pass them. so as to say i met the promotion critiera. but whether i really promote is decided on 9 NOV. i wasnt very sure whether i want to promote. it is really tough in this system and i jus passed the exams only. so if i really promote, i dunno whether i can catch up with my J1 stuffs as well as do up the J2 new topics. i saw all my friends around me not really doing well. i really feel for them. KAI NING was so drama tat she cried lyk nobody's business. my heart really go out to her. even my best fren fangyi who always acadamically doing better than me all the time, didnt do as well for promos. all of them r emoing rite now. my heart really go out to them man. i didnt say i m doing really well, but when the fact tat not promoting hits them so hard, they r so gonna be crashed and upset. vivian cried almost getting all her papers. i really feel for them.i understand how it feels and i noe everyone did their best. if they r not suit for this place den they have to jus find alternatives. personally i don think this place(PJC,not the system) suits me. the ppl here sucks man. i dunno such ppl exist in this world. alot of loser in PJC. no hot babes, no hunks(except me) and a whole bunch of losers. zZZZZZ

2007-10-20T23:28:00.000+08:00

results will be out on tuesday. i wonder how will i do. i really have no idea. but i had already done preparation to go to poly just in case i really cannot make it to JC2. i seriously hope i can go up to JC2. but if i cant den so be it loh. i had already gave my best in my JC life and during promos. so if i really didnt make it in the end, i will have no regrets.

today i went for vivan bdae party. it was not veyr grand or magnificent, but it was kinda fun. haha. i ate alot and play alot. i believed eveyrone enjoyed themselves.but there were 3 grps of her friends. cg, cheerleaders and classmates. so there were 3 serparate grp. but i was kinda comfortable as i belong to 2 of the grp. hwaha. it was nothing much today. haha.

2007-10-16T21:27:00.001+08:00

haha i went to KBOX with my schoolmate. its been long since i ever went out with my sch mate. haha. even in hong kah i seldom go out with sch ppl. so it is kinda of a rare and new experience for me. haha. we had fun in kbox. thank God we booked the room, when we reach KBOX, it was full of people. we managed to get a damn big room but in the end we have to change as the projector is off. but nvm we got a better room instead. it was more cosier and more emoier. LOL. all the while it was me and fy and keane and viian are singing. the rest r jus dunno doing wad. den suddenly, DEREKIE SANG. i nvr hear b4. i was so shock. his voice was very nice. really cannot judge a book by its cover man. OMG. so shocked. hahha. den we kept singing till te nightfall. it was damn fun.den after tat i chiong home to do pw. damn tat shawn chen. i told him to meet tat day and now he suddenly come and tell me wanna do pw. talk abt time wasters... ZZZZ. its ok, i m gonna exercise my leadership authority over them. i have to. if not we r not gonna make it for OP. i dun give a damn how r u gonna react. if u r not gonna follow, i m going straight to MDM SHAFA. its either u follow or u get lost. simple as tat. i dun wanna jeopardise the whoel team due to some assholes.

2007-10-14T00:38:00.000+08:00

ahhhh had a tiring day. i went to service suprisingly willingly. lol. i even asked God to really freshen me up and speak to me. but in the end HE disappoint me again. its ok. i seriously hope he fulfil Ezkiel 38:23. PLS!!! LET ME NOE U R LORD AGAIN!!!!!!! IF NOT I AM GONNA BACKSLIDE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
had qiute a long day today and i went home quite late and went home alone. i reflected on alot of things, i thought through of my past, how i served Jesus, how i was so enthu abt building His kingdom and loving His people. i asked myself, is it worth my time and money and effort??? i could not find the ans. all i could do was ponder upon these qns..... after wad God has done to me, i don really have the motivation to serve Him again. i don see the value anymore. at tat point of time, i got my ans. it is not worth my time and moeny and effort. but until i saw this baby, my ans changed.
this baby enlighten me. she was nothing special, jus lyk any other babies, adorable, naive, innocent and curious and helpless. all she was doing was playing with her toys in her cart and trying to touch some strangers. at that point of time, i smiled. denher mom fed her milk. she was still playing and still touchign others and fidgeting about, but the mom still continue to feed her.
w
wad i m trying to say is that, even when we are still doing our things, working and having fun, God is still providing for us. nvr stopping. so i believe all my money efforts and time has not been wasted. i see my fruits of my labour and i m veyr happy. it is all worth it.

2007-10-12T22:39:00.001+08:00

in a very pissed off condition i m blogging rite now. omg. iwonder what vulgarities would come put. i better chill. chil chill. relax. *breathe in* *breathe out* relax relax. today is a rather slack day and it is kinda boring. i had fun doing rock climbing this PE lesson. it was realy really fun. hahaha. i nearly reached the top of the most difficult wall. damn, my hands were numb and lakc of strength. sians.... but nvm, i still made it kinda high. den the rest of the lesson r boring. i just got myself a FACEBOOK. which is kinda cool. haha. i dunno how it function and i don have much friends as i just created. i wonder wad it can do? still exploring. hopefully it is fun and easy to use. hahaha. den i can change from friendster to facebook. LOL. was kinda emo the whole day. i got back my chinese results. was pretty damn sad. God has failed me. He nvr did. this time, He totally failed me. what else good could come up after failing ur exams?? nothing. i really feel lyk crying, but i dunno how to cry. it is really sad. u wan to cry but u cant. it is really agonising. talked to HANNAH for a bit about some stuff, saw things from her point of view and i kinda got enlightened by her. hmmm i always enlightened by her. haha. understood wad u meant and i seriously think it is quite true. thanks for enlightening me:)

2007-10-11T22:05:00.001+08:00

I REALLY DON UNDERSTAND THAT WHY MY BLOG IS CATERORISE AS ADULT. i cant even view my blog man!!! my own blog!!!! it is bull shit. that filtering svc is really bullshit.

2007-10-08T20:55:00.000+08:00

i had a some wad open talk with my a few of my closer classmates about how i felt abt the class over a meal. i tot they already noe that i hate this class long long time ago, just tat they nvr voice it out. but in fact they really dunno man. i was amazed and surprised. but nvm, now they noe alreayd. hahha. seriously, the very very very very first day i step into this class, i smell a very strong stench of trouble and disaster that is gonna befall onto us. somehow i was rite from all the things i m seeing now. but the thing is rite, no one sees it from my point of view. they keep thinking this class rocks and is marvellous. i don understand. i seriously don. the facts lie in front of us so clearly but we jus don wanna accept it. i really dun get them.

i dun mean tat i hate everyone in the class. some of the r great friends. but those pockets of assholes somehow made significant impacts on the class so tat our reputation sucks like hell. if i could remove them, the class would be a very pleasant 1. i would love it very much indeed.
2nd reasons is because of the hatre from the teachers toward our class. everyday they would tell us we cannot make it, and put us down. being in this kinda of low morale class seriously sucks loh. no matter wad they r my classmates, i gave myself 3 mths to love them from the bottom of my heart. but i cannot do it. they jus sucks.

so ya loh. just don take me as part of the class. in the first place, i nvr regard myself as part of 07S12.

2007-10-07T01:02:00.000+08:00

today is a rather bad start of the day. i woke up and i had a very very bad stomachache.it was one of the worse ones i evr had in my life. from morning 8, i had been running to the toilet till 12. i was totally dehydrated, to make things worse, i haven eaten and i haven drank any liquid. after my 'trips' to the toilet, i have totally no energy. i was totally drained. somemore my butt really hurts until i cannot even lie down properly. even now as i m blogging, i can still feel the pain in my stomach although it is alot much better than in the morning. practically i had stomachache the whole day. didnt have much appetitie nor strength to talk. thank GOD for AARON for praying for me:) i believe my case was severe food poisoning. if i found out who the asshole is, i was surely make them pay with their sorry ass. i m gonna lodge a complaint against them and make sure they go bust. so so bust. they make me go thru hell, and i will do so to them as well.

went to svc didnt praise or worship very expressively as i have no energy and my butt really hurts.so i just fix my eyes on Jesus and just let the spirit flow. was quite refreshed, and the P&W was great today. it was long we had such a good P&W. great job. didnt listen to sermon as i had the urge to shit again, so i go shit till sermon over.zzzzz. afterwards i met sherman for dinner. it was so long when we had dinner together. we closen up the gap and we had fun. haha. i shared alot to him and he was kinda receptive. haha. cool. realised my heart beats very fast when i see future wife. hmmm. i wonder will she really be??? haha tat i let God decide for me, for now i just concentrate on studying hard and making music hard. den when i grow up i have loads of money den i can give HER, the best that i can. hahaha. gonna make u mine someday!! LOL!

2007-10-05T00:37:00.000+08:00

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
this medal don come easy at all. i paid it with my blood,sweat, perseverance and strength. i won it thru my frisbee challenge. it may seem to u as a easy game but it is very draining. and if u don believe, try playing this game under the hot sun for the whole day with only half hour of rest in the intervals. we fought a good fight and we won the second place. we only lost to nobel only, bcos they r all from ODAC and they lyk practice for a few months b4 challenging us. we only practice lyk 15 mins 2 days b4, den we play against them. we only lost to them by a very very very very close bit. 6-5. zzzzzz. however nobel is a team of integrity except for 1 asshole. this bastard come rite in front of me to block me and he didnt observe the 3 feet rule. so normally, we push them away with our hand. idiots would use the frisbee to push them away. so he not happy when i push him away, so he come and scold vuglarities. damn, he didnt noe who i am man, come scold vuglarities to me. so when he come so close and when i dish out the frisbee and he smack it so hard right in my face, i lost my cool. frisbee goes to him, he said something tat irritates me. so i lost it. i pick up the frisbee and threw it in front of him." WHAT THE HELL." he is a bastard man. don let me see him in sch. i will kill him. other then this incident i had fun during the whole frisbee game. the game i enjoyed most is with darwin. haha. they r so sporty and fun. OWENS is the loser. no sportsmanship no nothing. suck to the core. my friends and i grew in our relationship and we walked closer than ever after this game. all those sacrifices for this, is worth it:)

2007-10-01T22:14:00.000+08:00

today's boring. i went to gym today and tone up my muscles abit. kinda shiok. i think i trained back my chest a bit and got my packs back. haha. other den that, i was dotaing the whole day. it was utterly boring and a waste of time. i think i better find something to do soon. if not i really wasted my holidays. i cant man. i noe after the holidays, i don think i gonna have a veyr happy holiday during the dec. cos the bad memories of staying back would be resounding at the back of my head. haiz.... so i m totally enjoy my 7 days of non results holidays as much as possible. hahahhaa. i did my best, God will do the rest. hmmmmmm

2007-09-30T20:03:00.000+08:00

Everything rises and fall with leadership. i have no choice but to agree. at first i was skeptical about it but after i experienced it for myself, i have no choice but to agree. there is a probability that i may leave church. i finally seen through all the acts of the leaders. they r just caring about wadeva "L" they r and they abuse their authority. they think they r some big shot. a classical example i rem is tat during breakthrough camp, a very "high ranking" pastor came to be a guest speaker, den during lunch time our youth pastor asked all the ULs and above to dine with him in a special room. why just UL and above? cant he dine with the rest of the youth? does it mean tat UL and below cannot even eat with a very godly man? wth. they r also rising up unspiritual leaders and letting non-deserving ppl to go to the youth support team. a good example is HER.(if u noe u noe.) she is obviously leading a double life and everyone is oblivious to it and thinking she is such a spiritual woman of God. everyone was bloody fooled. i have noe her for almost 4 yrs already. i can say i noe her inside out. from all the things that r happening, i noe this church is falling. throughout this year, i rarely see ppl crossing the line of faith in svc in front of everyone. but instead, the pastor would ask them to pray during their own time. WTH.no point staying. i rather do something for other churches den this unspiritual place.

another reason tat i may leave is that there is nothing left for me to stay in this place.my best friends left, my future wife i don think she likes me at all, even my cg is destroyed. redemption seldom jam anyway. usher is nothing to me now. my dream of going to YWAM is dashed as i would nvr want to go there when she is there. NEVER. i really don see the value already. nobody cares, no bodsy bothers, why i bother to? haiz... we will see how as the days go along. GOD, i believe You are just. please bring JUSTICE to the church and to me. i cannot stay in this corrupted place any longer. please help me God. HELP ME. i am weak but You are strong.

2007-09-29T23:48:00.000+08:00

friday and today was very fun day. hahha. friday went out to marcus hse but realise no 1 at home so we have to turn back and go JE and ice skate with our bags full of stuff. the ice skate was fun but however our toes suffered kinda badly. ahhahah. got a few pretty girls to see. hahahah. so hot. den we went to eat botak Jones at bishan. didnt noe there is a branch at clementi if not we had gone there to eat already. i really had a great time with my friends. but erm, i am kinda foreign to weizi as he is not really part of the 4 of us. he just cant really seem to fit in. lol. after that we slack and talk abit at botak jones. it was around 11 when we finished. we went down to somerset to play pool till 1 plus den we went back and bath and slept. MAN my levi shoes were killing me man. it was just as small as my converse 1. man it totally defeat the purpose of buying this new shoes man. DAMN tat auntie man, i told her the size 9 she still give me size 8. when i asked her for a larger size, she didnt even look and she say don have. WTH. one day i m gonna go back and disturb tat auntie man. wasted my $60. zzzzzzz. we went to sleep after watching a few videos and woke up next morning damn late. woke up den we watch tv all the way den i went off to church and they went off to work. haha. and we parted. haha.

during svc i was late for ushering and i was reprimanded by Seng Kim obviously in front of the whole team. apparently i didnt give a damn. i was just drinking water and staring in the air. during svc i also realised tat i m not doing well. i tried to pray to God for refreshment and new strength. but it didnt came. i didnt ask anymore. but i just keep quiet and be still to God's voice. he whispered something so soft, i didnt hear but at least i felt better after svc. i rushed down after svc to go to my MATH teachers house. it was at yio chu kang. i didnt noe it was so nice. although it was only 1 storey, but it was very glamourous. teachers r rich. her daugther is cute and the food is nice. Mrs Praba has been most hospitable. THANK YOU! i really enjoyed myself there and i had some 1 to 1 time wit her. i wanted to ask her more things but i cant rem the questions. it was the 2nd time i ever went to a teacher's hse. but it was the first time to hav fun. haha. i seriously enjoyed myself and i loosen up my cool looks to bond with the class even i don feel lyk it. it is gonna be the last few times we r gonna be together, so i just let it all loose and just have fun.

overall can say tat i had fun these 3 days and i really managed to destress most of toil in JC. finally i am able to play and have some fun. i thank God for his blessings and smoothness for everything tat has come true this 3 days. all these fun and relaxation was absolutely timely.

2007-09-28T00:03:00.000+08:00

i am so so so tempted to blog today. TODAY IS THE END OF PROMOS!!!!!!!!! finally. waited for this day to come for very long. since the day of the school openhse, i had been studying hard for this promos. i serious wanna promote. when i look across the whole hall, everyone has the same focus:PROMOTE. i m lyk competing with over a thousand of them. i wonder. i had given my best bet already. the rest i leave it to God. if in His plan i am bound to promote, den i will.

today after a whole long yr of toiling and hard work, finally i am able to release all my stress in 1 go today. today was the most fun day tat i had had since the start of this year. we went to the "Jungle" to celebrate Mid Autumn Festival. hahahah. fangyi aaron jiahao deep cerlyn catherine hazel sheila and me were there. it was damn fun. we actually only expected 5 ppl to turn up, but in the end more than 5 turn up. it was good response. lol. haha. we really had fun, we talk abit, we set up a bonfire, we carried lanterns with sticks damn LONG. lol. we played with sparkles. we went mad on them. LOL. we were spinning them lyk crazy fools. but it was fun. it was tat part which destressed me ALOT. we were all dirty and sweaty but i believe, everyone single one of us had fun and we bonded and we really destressed. HIGH AR!!! i nvr been so high since i came into JC. though the moon is blur and ground abit wet, but nevertheless, we had fun. hahahhahhahahahahhahahaahhahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhah. SHIOK SIA.

2007-09-22T23:03:00.000+08:00

finally i am able to turn on my computer with the least defect.i dunno wad happened, but my com seem to have suffered from some trojan virus. gotta reboot after promos man. loads of things to do after promos.gotta hav fun, work, reconfigure com and alot alot of things. i actually wanna continue studying but i guess i can forget it man. my mom is lyk nagging non stop to my brother, it is such a nusiance. it is giving me a headache and i cant study properly already. today i didnt stay after svc, i went home straight after that. i took the same bus home as carol. we had fun and we shared some stuff. she is kinda of a good listener, and i nearly poured out all my sorrows and burdens to her. hahaha. i had lyk only got to know her better thru the bus ride. it was great. objective accomplished. today service was an enriching 1 and God touching 1. Pastor Jeff preached with much convictions and much gusto. i was convicted but yet, i will do something after promos. nothing else matter more to me den my promos now. i came home den i studied geog. it was boring however i managed to finished human geog as it was kinda little. i hope i got it all in my head. started abit on phy geo as well. i abit regret watching abit of tv man. i lyk wasted 1 hr on tv. haiz... nvm, i will make it up later, when i m less agitated ad less pissed. calm my head and heart first. *breathing hard*

2007-09-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

AHHHH finally it is the end of the week and i can be able to blog once again. haha.but however this week also means the start of my promos. i had just finished my GP paper. i had just sealed my fate. if i fail my GP, i can don need to see the rest of my papers and i can go straight to poly already. this promos means alot to me. it means alot to everyone especially to S12. if we r able to make it thru, it would show the rest and the teachers that S12 can do it and we are not as lousy as u think. it would be a great morale boost and emotional refilling after a whole year of critisism from the rest of the sch and by the teachers. had a kinda fun but embarrassing lunch with my classmates in Pizza Hut and we witnessed a fight between 2 guys. den i went home and configured my guitar pedalboard. i somehow got a very nice tone and i like it veyr much. den i had a short nap and i started studying already. tml i m gonna go church and come back home straight. i cant waste anytime playing and slacking. had a short talk with Hannah and it was kinda demoralising and emotional for me. i dunno y but i jus felt this way. haiz, actually don feel lyk blogging but just its a routine i have to do, anyway no body reads it. ok gtg.

2007-09-16T22:28:00.000+08:00

today i went for my church annivasary. it was damn cool man. it was held at D'marquee at downtown east. it was a cool place there. it was the place where planetshakers hold their concert. it was veyr cool. i lyk it. haha. overall the annisary was a success. but somehow the youth congregration was kinda laid back and slack, not really into the celebration and stuff. maybe it is just me?? i not sure. i wore quite nicely today but the person i wanna show it to the most didnt come. so sians. i gonna prove to her tat i can be veyr handsome de, just tat i don lyk to dress up so much. hahah. this is a photo of how i looked yest. i was kinda amazed by myself also, hahah. didint noe it produced such a good effect. haha. after anniversary, i actually wanna go home and study but since the whole CG was here, so i stayed on and study with them. was kinda fruitful and i finally managed to read the Italy case study after so much obstacles.ahhahaha. after that kester wei song and i had a small but yet great chat. shan't reveal too much as it would be not really benefical to ur ears. hahah. after that ate at mac and then took a cab home as it was already 12 when we finished eating. it was a miracle tat my parents nvr scold me for coming home so late. i was so so amazed. hahah had fun in overall. somehow our cg atmosphere became less tense alreayd. tat is a good sign. thank God.

today i just stayed at home and study all the way. woke up kinda late today but nvm i had quite a good rest tat is impt. hahah. study all the way to 430 den i took a long nap till 7 and i study again from 830 till just now. now i m blogging all this down and doing some administration work. haha. after tat i mayb gonna chill abit, just sit down and SLACK. or just play abit of guitar, anything that i can relax just for 10 mins:)

2007-09-14T23:08:00.001+08:00

fianlly its the end of the week again. its been a very tiring week and i cant seem to get eough slp. i had the darkest eye ring in my lifetime. i was so stupified. OMG. end of the week means promos r drawing nearer and nearer. i have exactly 1 week b4 the first paper starts. i noe this is gonna be it, i have no confidence in myself that i will promo, but i just wanna go there and give it my all and at the end of the day at least i can say, i tried and not gave up halfway:) I really hope God will give me wisdom and let me do this promos to the best tat i can. this week has been rather busy. i everyday slept at 1130 the earliest. partly due to PW, which we have to chiong the WR, but now it is finished.WOO!!! i was studying till so late as well and i had to do some adminstrative stuff like healthcare and cleaning up and stuffs like that. but it had been a fruitful week and i kinda enjoyed myself even though it is damn tiring. i must get a good night slp tonight man. MUST. today got back quite a few tests and did a few tests as well. i was amazed wad God can do thru me. i did quite well for the tests tat i gotten back and my chemistry teacher wrote words of encouragement on my script and i was greatly encouraged and motivated. THANKS TBP, THOUGH UR A JERK SOMETIMES! LOL!!! i got back my chinese and i did pretty well as well, even my teacher say it is done badly, but i looked at the overall and the conditions when we took the test, i think we fair pretty good. the overall cohort did just as bad. i sometimes wonder my mom suffers from mental illness, she would suddenly come intothe room and say you're a jinx jus becos i let the fan on till the next day. i was lyk, WTH???!!!! haiz... nvm i just have to bear with it. ok i poured out my thoughts and i really felt happy and jubliant and contented and tired but slightly irritated, and finally can let out a sigh of great relief. and now i gotta go to slp already. GOOD NITE.

2007-09-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

its been a great these two days. yest got a word from God and i somehow felt happy the whole day. yest was a strange phenomenon. on the bus i saw alot of family going out for a family outing. it is such a rare sight to see. its hard to see this kinda of faily atmosphere here in Singapore. den during service God somewhat spoke to me and i had fun ushering. its fun. den for the whole day i felt kinda happy. i dunno the real reason, but somehow i felt happy:) but the ironic thing is tat i felt kinda mild for these two days. i don really lyk to talk and i don feel high at all. wierd. anyway, after service i went to study at emerald BK with HANNAH and my newly made friend, FENG HUI. haha SHIOK MAN!!! its was quiet there and the air con was right and everything was just perfect for studying. i studied quite alot.

today started out at 11. i met SHERMAN and when to peenisula plaza to jam. i was extremely mild and slience the whole day. SHERMAN was babbling on and on and my replies was 'oh ok, cool, hahah ok, ya right, yup, sure, *cold smile* '' and thats about it!! i was so wierd man. i just cant high myself up even after jamming. i was just mild and cool. maybe i m too stress over the coming promos. hmmmm. i gotten somethings. u guys r gonna be so in for a surprise next wekk. hahahhaha. ok gotta blast. LOL!

2007-09-07T22:20:00.000+08:00

DAMN THAT FUCKING BITCH MAN!!!!!!! i am already stressed up enough and she come and poke a little here and there. she really noes how to stroke up a fire in me man. this person is none other than my mother. it already tough enough to be in JC without someone bugging u all the time. it is even tougher when some bitch keeps nagging at you to study when u already are studying. she LOVES to ask redundant and stupid questions and questions that r lyk 'DUH'. for instance," are you studying???" i was holding a book at my desk with soft music in the background when she asked tat question. of cos i was pissed off la!! it was such a stupid question. wad if i were to ask you ' are you eating dinner right now?' when you r holding a bowl of rice in the evening EVERYDAY? man, a tumbler at the brim would spill over even when you add a little drop of water to it. it is damn irritating and pointless to reply and ans. she ask this kinda of questions everyday of cos i don reply often la. you can see it for yourself, why ask stupid questions and disturb my peace which i can rarely get? DAMN her man. its hard to study JC especially without background knowledge, and with a mad dog barking at you everyday, its driving me crazy. on the surface, she say she don mind me going poly if i didnt do well for promos at the end of the year, but deep down in her WICKED heart, she MINDS TOTALLY. all she concerned abt was her FUCKING own face. she was afraid that the relatives and her friends would not have this awe anymore that her son is a JC student. COME ON, JC is a harsh environment and it is not easy to study, have u ever spare a thought for me? Never.

2007-09-03T22:55:00.000+08:00

today is the start of the one week september holidays. and i didnt started out pretty well. there are alot of rough patches here and there. i daresay this holiday will not be a enjoyable one. since yest, i have been studying for the whole day, today was no exception. yest nite i had to do a summary on the national day rally, and i used my friend's for reference since it is the most recent post. but den somehow my summary was somewhat similar to his. i admit i copied a few words from his and most of the last paragraph as i was pretty tired already so i wanna rush thru it and finsih it. i nvr expect he went to see it and was kinda mad tat i copied some of his work. its ok. i apologise for my SIN. i'm at fault to copy anyway. den today i don think i had a veyr fruitful study as i was kinda distracted. den at nite, my bro came back from malaysia. when he came back, my parents was all over him, asking how he has been( he was away for 3 days only), and caressing him with question abt his expedition. my bro also brought something from malaysia as well. when i walked past the hall to get a drink, my mom suddenly said," your bro go overseas noe how to buy something back for us, u lei? nvr get a single shit for us" i was ignoring her totally and i was pretty angry. when i came home from malaysia tat day, did u wake up half way from your sleep just to welcome me home lyk how u welcome bro home now???? its not that i am jealous or anything it is just tat they r showing favoritism and i am left behind. man i had been on a rotten luck man. i m not looking forward to a new day, cos i noe tml will be another bad day for me again.

2007-08-31T22:55:00.000+08:00

today is teachers day eve and alot of students would go back to their former sch to visit their teachers and catching up with their former sch friends. i did the same thing as most students did. after my sch concert which was kinda ended late but howver the concert was the best teacher's day concert i had ever seen and my CHEM teacher dressed damn nice man. HE OWN man. haha. i was trying to get a photo of him but a pity we sat too far to snap a good photo of him. hahah. i was tryin yo flag a taxi down but apparently everyone is doing the same thing and i cant get a cab so i too a bus instead even though i was late. when i was reaching my friend called and told me tat all ym teacher has left. i was so sad. but when i reach the bus stop, just nice some of my teachers came to the bus stop. we caught up a little and we talked quite a bit. haha. how lucky i was. after tat i went to a nearby coffee shop to eat with my seondary sch friends. we had alot to talk abt and alot of things to fill in one another. when i told them how bad my results was despite desperate trying so hard. instead of rubbing it in or questioning about my abilites, they comforted me and encouraged me. i nvr expected tat from them man. out of so many ppl, it was my secondary school friends tat would comfort me, encourage and motivate me in the end. so amazed. they were lyk, " next yr we dont wanna see u in poly man!! DON U DARE COME." i was lyk so touched and encouraged man. we spend quite a lot of time just sitting at the coffee shop talking and reminscing about our sec sch life and asking how the others r doing and consulting of how each other life is doing. for them, i would give it my very best shot at promos,even if it kills me.

2007-08-26T00:17:00.000+08:00

today svc is abt P&W. i really learnt alot from it today as i grow as a musician or just a music lover. i had learnt to worship God and focus my eyes on him and not the focus and worship the music.Goood music is good but deep worship is even better:) as i reflect upon my christian walk with God, wad i really enjoy serving God with is with my musical talents by playing guitar for cg or playing drums for the church, i really enjoyed it man. i would really wan to advance and be a good drummer for the church and play for p&w. it is not for my own self glorification, but for God's hand to move thru my music. i noe where i am headed for and i will try my very best to grasp any opprotunites to play as a drummer in church so now i have to prepare myself b4 i can really play on stage. today studied witmy cg ppl as wel. i don noe how to do a single math question man, and for 2hrs i only do lyk 3 qns. i am really lyk pathetic. i m such a goner for maths man. i think i better buck up for chem and econs man. they r the only 2 subjects tat can help me thru my promos. GOTTA CHIONG. i pray God would bring me thru man. today God spoke to me in service finally since a veyr long time and i am really glad tat He spoken to me. he said, ''Even though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death,YOU will fear no evil,for I am withYOU;MY rod and MY staff,they comfort YOU.'' was reallly refreshed by God tat he finally spoken to me. was so happy.

2007-08-24T23:01:00.001+08:00

end of the week is here again!!! finally this week has been fairly a good week for me, Go dhas been smiling on my side this week and i am really thankful for that. Thank You God. hahahha., this week has been a blessing. i don really quite rmb much buit i knew tat i reflected much on my JC life. on thurs, during econs tutorial, i suddenly started to reflect upon my JC life, since the first day i step into this college.i had nvr pass a single test ever man. it was damn tramatising and i really think of giving up at the moment. for a split moment i think i shld had gone poly when i had been offered the chance. failing and failing and failing tests isnt a really good thing to go thru. i was so emo for the rest of the day man. i tot thru alot of stuff during that econs tutorial and i really straighten out my thoughts. i had to do wad i can for this period of time. even if i cant promote at the end of the yr, at least i can say with no regrets tat i had already put in my best. and i had to resign to fate and God's destiny for me. no one really knew how hard it was to promote and how stress the curiculum is, and u had to endure all this all by myself. it is really a torture and i pray tat God will bring me thru this crisis, and may the Lord grace shine upon me forever more. Thank You Jesus:)

2007-08-19T00:47:00.000+08:00

ahhhhh i friday didnt blog. i didnt reach home so early and i was very tired after i reached home so i decided to not blog and do some admin and misc stuff. recently this week i had been studying veyr hard man. i came home since tues, around 9 plus man. it is kinda fulfilling but yet tiring. haha. i stayed back for night study almost eveyrday. it was a joy to study together with my friends in sch. and thank GOD tat he sent the correct people to study with. they really egg one another to study and we concentrate quite well togther. haha we had fun and yet we studyed hard together. i really hope i can promote to JC2 man. but even if i didnt promote at least i noe i done my best and i have no regrets. hahahhaa. PJC ppl r really irritating man, i really hated a huge bunch of ppl in sch. alot of PJ ppl r jus JC wannabes. they r not cut out to be a JC student and they wanna waste a space here and dilute the culture here. the PJ culture was so so so diluted bcos of them. there are a huge loads of them man. as their faces flashed thru my head, i m so filled with anger and hatred man. they sucks man!!! BIG TIME. i really hope alot of them would leave man. i cannot take it anymore man. there are too many eyesore in this sch. i cant resort to violence to solve this thing or else ppl will call me a chyna dude. i m no chyna, but alot of losers and chyna ppl come pj, and diluted the WHOLE sch. hate them man. i actually loved this sch when i was in 1st 3 mth but after tat i was so wrong. this new batch sucks lyk hell. chyna, losers, nerds, all those who shldnt be here all r here. DAMN THEM man. ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Y!!!!! a bunch of bitches and bastards!!!!

2007-08-19T00:18:00.000+08:00

today got this indian guy who made me missed my last bus and made me run a bustop and i missed the bus lyk jus 3 min bcos of HIM. damn it man. he suck dick. i was depositing money into my account and this indian guy wanna update his bankbook so he cut my queue, and the machine already told him he cant update as the updating time is over but he still wanna update and try again. wasted my time. by the time i deposited my money and ran to the bus stop, the bus alreayd ran away alreayd. omg thank God tat my dad is not home yet if not he will kill me tenderly man. ASSHOLE DAMN INDIANS.ARGHHHH

2007-08-12T20:13:00.000+08:00

saturday was just a normal service for me. the sermon was kinda newb but i think i still learnt something. hahaha. after service didnt stayed on for long as i nid to go back to bukit batok to celebrate tat BITCH MOM birthday. so sians man. i seriously don feel lyk celebrating for her man. she just sucks man. somehow how i was wired is to oppose her. i dunoo. just don lyk her man. how i wish i could quickly grow up and earn big bucks and leave this home and nvr come back agian.

2007-08-10T23:04:00.000+08:00

finally!!! it the end of the week for me!!! this week is kinda slack as this week is national day week. i made a decsion to stay on in JC. i noe it is a bad choice but all my friends and teacher encouraged me to do so except for 1 teacher who urge me to withdraw and bluff me there is a 2nd intake now in poly. OK there is acutally, but it is in temesek, how m i suppose to go there. OMG. i had decided to give it my all for this promos so i m gonna go low on my playing and having fun and church activities. I wanna give it my best shot. if i didnt make it at the end, at least i have no regrets. so forgive me for stepping down in my minstry bcos i don wan at the end of the day, i regret badly. its not tat i m unspiritual or wad, but it is just a form of responsibilty. MY DAMNED MOTHER was so overjoyed when she heard tat i wanted to continued in JC. she was so afraid of her own face man. bitch man. she is afraid of losing face to her friends and relatives tat i could not stay in a JC. big deal if u cant stay in JC. if u cant previously u r dumb, if u cant now, it is ok. if u can make it thru the JC, then u mus have sacrificed ur life and soul. this new syaballus is crazy man. it sucks the life outta the students man. u gotta do a project thruout the yr concurrently with ur 3H2 and 1 H1. don belittle this H1, u fail, u cant promote. ur H1 is a contrasting subject which is quite hard to pass it(if u r a science student, u must take a art subject). somemore u got GP to handle as well. u fail, u cant promote as well. on top of this, u still got ur CCAs to juggle with. WTH. the previous syaballus is just 3Alvl sub(not H2 different).and a A/o level sub(any) A/O is jus lyk O lvl standard jus abit harder only. H1 is H2 difficulty but less content. OMG. JC is crazy. it is either u r smart or u pay it with ur life and soul to make it to thru. haiz. all i ask now is to jus scrape thru J1 and go to 2 and complete my JC, i don wana waste a yr man. NO WAY.

2007-08-05T00:17:00.001+08:00

today is a very devestating day for me. it is the day of truth and reality. it seems lyk i could not stay in a JC anymore. i had meet the parent session today and the teacher lay the cards b4 me, they don look really toward my advantage. they gave me a withdrawal form and asked me to consider over the week end. aaron and trhe rest who seen the teacher all cried or teared,but i just don feel anything. i noe i m sad,and could not take the facts, but i just cant expressed myself. i think i had made myself into a living robot. i have a heart, a cold heart. they wanted me to consider the poly route, but i m really hesistant abt it. i finally able to get into somewhere prestigious but i had to go to the poly?? haiz. i dun want. however the facts shows that i dun really have much of a choice. Finally out of Hong Kah and into somewhere decent and now i had to go to the poly and start from the scratch again. I really dun wanna withdraw but the cards laid b4 me arent really tat optimistic. i have tml to consider and mon i m gonna submit the form. i m really not sure wad i m gonna do, but i will think properly. GOD, pls help me. i really humbled myself b4 in this dark hours. if u dun help me, no 1 would. i nid ur wisdom and courage and strength.

2007-08-03T21:32:00.000+08:00

man.. finally it is the end of the week man!!! finally can let out a sigh of relief and loosen up abit form school man. this week i dun have much hw so i can relax quite abit. hahahhaha. cool ar. but i got quite a few tests coming up and promos r lyk 2 mths away. i cant afford to totally shut off, i nid to still study not abit, but quite diligently during this period of time. canot slack man. hmmm i really got not much time to spare to blog daily man, i think i decided to blog during the fridays and sat of the week man. really in nid of time man. no time to play and slack. but just time to rest. hahahhaa. i got minstry, work, CCA(mayb not) and travel. i think travelling really takes up alot of my time man. ZZZZ. hahah.
this week was quite ok and Mr tan seem to be lightening up abit and began to show less hostility to our class. Phewsss... today i just bought my POLO TEE. FINALLY!!!! u dun nid to tuck ur polo tee in and it looks fine for me. but it is kinda stuffy when u wear cos the heat is all trappeed in the body. dunno y. this week is really a tiring week for me, i had been having isomina since mon and i hardly get to slp well and enough. when i reached home and getting ready to bath, i would lie on the bed for a while and unknowingly, i would doze off. ok tml i maby getting my HARRY POTTER 7th book. so excited and happy. thanks! and tml there is FOP. dun think i will be going. either after service i will go home to study to compensate of the time loss during tues, or i will spend some time with sherman and friends. if sherms is going den i left with 1 choice, go home and study, which i really do not mind. LOL. mayb i would just bring some stuff out and study at some fastfood restaurant since there is air conditioning. my house doesnt have air con. hmmm i will see home tml.

2007-07-29T00:58:00.000+08:00

today is just a normal saturady. go service and chill at ps till late nite den come bakc home and slp. but today the people i spent my time with r my cg ppl. i never knew my cg in such an intimate way. they r such a bunch of fun and nonsensical ppl. hashah.we went to BK at emerald to study and we had fun studying and it was kinda fruitful i guess. JIAHAO and I bought new memory cards for our hp. it was so damn cheap la. i think. haha. PJ had two converts today and 1 of them is malay. i wonder how he converted and will his parent reject his faith?? i wonder. i pray that God will show Himself vividly to Ibro and Kestr during the next few weeks or so. bcos i wnan let them noe tat God is real in their lives:) PJ has tripled in 3 mths time. i nvr seen such a thriving grp in my life b4. it is great to be in this grp. but when i told JIAHAO i mayb their leader, they sounded amazing and resistance to my leadership and prefered those ex-CL lyk WS, Stef, and aaron. but now is now wad. those days are over. but i dun really care la. it was a prideful moment for me cos i somehow think tat i m more spiritually more superior than the rest of them i repent now:( sorry God. now i reached home i wanan find a verse or something to encourage this friend of mine so tat i can make her stay in church. i wanan be a encourager.

2007-07-27T21:34:00.000+08:00

today is finally the end of the sch week!!! i had been pressing on to this day for veyr long already. i got tons of hw man. LOADS AND LOADS. but i just finished eveyrthig. man it takes alot of determination and brainpower man. haha but quite shiok ar do alot of hw in 1 go. haha. i self-proclaimed quitted from rugby bcos i think i better focus on my academic first b4 i pursue any CCAs. anyway i don really lyk the ppl there and they kinda sucks. BIGTIME. my mid yrs i did quite badly. it is an unlikely chance that i promote to J2. seriously. i nid to score As and Bs for everything to promote. which i think is most unlikely. but i pray that God will make a way somehow and let me promote to J2 smoothly. bcos i still wanna lead a JC life and pioneer my sch. it is so fun to pioneer a JC minsitry. it is quite easy and it is fun evangalising. not lyk in high sch it is so hard to evangalise. haha. i pray hard thay God would help me in my promos and help me to b a righteous man for HIM. i don wanna go the wrong way again.haha. Mr Tan is not really happy with our cls man. he lyk hates us totally. i go up and do qns and he draw a wierd cycloalkene and i tot he was doing arenes and he scold me tat i dunno how to do. partly i was at fault la cos i was mistaken. but he didnt make himself clear ma. he scold me i didnt pay attention. I pay the utmost attention in his class. i dont pay as much attention in other cls loh. why did my most favourite and respected teacher reduced to this state? haiz... i m so sad and confused.

2007-07-22T00:27:00.000+08:00

PJC have a cg size worth of converts according to Jia Hao. praise the Lord. i believe God will continue to pour into this grp greatly. haha. it is a thriving grp man. i love it. but still if the wineskin is weak, as more wine is poured in, the wineskin will broke and we will have to start all over again. so i wanna strengthen our wineskins and grow in the Lord. if not no matter how much God poured in, it will flow out from the other end one day. so God may you strengthen ur people so that they mayb prepared for greater harvest and greater stuff. God help PJ!!!

2007-07-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

man. it was finally the end of the week man. i really looked forward to this day very much man. haha. today had some blood donation advertising to the residents of CCK constituency. it was kinda bored but catherine and i got the slackest job bcos we r in charge. haha we talked quite a bit and i managed somehow to break into her life and i invited her for svc. she said ok but after that she nid to take care of her siblings so i 'booked' her for next week. haha. she said she is interested to come. haha. cool. i didnt noe aaron has a blog and his blog is similar to kelly's-loads of pictures, and a few words. but i didnt noe aaron noe all those bombardstic words lyk reminiscence, flustered, dejected,forlorn, its not really bombardstic to me but i really dunno aaron would noe how to use such words. he is such a chyna person and i didnt think he would noe how to use this kinda words. i was quite amazed and stunned that aaron who noe. haha. but wells i better buck up as well cos i noe my vocabs is not really alot. better store up more in my well of vocabs. haha. i think i better chiong for promos man. i cannot retain. i cant afford to do so. but if i really did retained, den fine, i go poly and score As there. even if i retained, at least i did my best. ok i m damn tired, tml still ave geo extra lessons. dumb. gtg. nites.

2007-07-16T18:25:00.000+08:00

it is the start of a new week and i really hope i can start it right with God and i i had locked my blog with a password. it is not that i m afraid of my leaders would find out wad i m doing in my private life or i m up to something. it is because there is someone who keeps reading my blog and telling tall tales about me everywhere. the i being ******** FATHER incident is such an example. that person read my entry and he/she go and sabo me. damn tat person to hell man. recently i also heard people had been badmouthing to other people in sch. i wonder who r they man. why they r so mean to me? people asked me abt my L1R5 so i told them and they asked me abt my postition in sch and so i told me. but some asshole go and twisted them and say that i went round telling others that i was so so proud abt my L1R5 and i was such an arrogrant person. i admited that i did say HONG KAH SECONDARY was a bad sch but come on, dont u agree with me ex hong kah lites???? i was so pissed off when i heard abt it man. if i ever get the wind of whoever was the one spread this shit i will make sure that jerk will pay. i hav faith that God will not allow His children to undergo such humliation. i hang on to this Chapter and i will pray it everyday: whoever badmouth me, this is ur retribution>>>>>
Psalms 109-
1 O God, whom I praise, do not remain silent,
2 for wicked and deceitful men have opened their mouths against me; they have spoken against me with lying tongues.
3 With words of hatred they surround me; they attack me without cause.
4 In return for my friendship they accuse me, but I am a man of prayer.
5 They repay me evil for good, and hatred for my friendship.
6 Appoint an evil man to oppose him; et an accuser stand at his right hand.
7 When he is tried, let him be found guilty, and may his prayers condemn him.
8 May his days be few; may another take his place of leadership.
9 May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow.
10 May his children be wandering beggars; may they be driven from their ruined homes.
11 May a creditor seize all he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his labor.
12 May no one extend kindness to him or take pity on his fatherless children.
13 May his descendants be cut off, their names blotted out from the next generation.
14 May the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the LORD; may the sin of his mother never be blotted out.
15 May their sins always remain before the LORD, that he may cut off the memory of them from the earth.
16 For he never thought of doing a kindness, but hounded to death the poor and the needy and the brokenhearted.
17 He loved to pronounce a curse— may it come on him; he found no pleasure in blessing— may it be far from him.
18 He wore cursing as his garment; it entered into his body like water, into his bones like oil.
19 May it be like a cloak wrapped about him, like a belt tied forever around him.
20 May this be the LORD's payment to my accusers, to those who speak evil of me.
21 But you, O Sovereign LORD, deal well with me for your name's sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.
22 For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me.
23 I fade away like an evening shadow; I am shaken off like a locust.
24 My knees give way from fasting; my body is thin and gaunt.
25 I am an object of scorn to my accusers; when they see me, they shake their heads.
26 Help me, O LORD my God; save me in accordance with your love.
27 Let them know that it is your hand, that you, O LORD, have done it.
28 They may curse, but you will bless; when they attack they will be put to shame, but your servant will rejoice.
29 My accusers will be clothed with disgrace and wrapped in shame as in a cloak.
30 With my mouth I will greatly extol the LORD; in the great throng I will praise him.
31 For he stands at the right hand of the needy one, to save his life from those who condemn him.

2007-07-14T23:57:00.000+08:00

today is kinda boring and rushing. i had college day in the morning. so boring. the talent time is no talent time at all man. there r no talent at all man. damn sick. went down to service, God spoke in my life and He say tat trust in Me and i will prosper you soon. the atomsphere of the service is kinda dead. people didnt jump during P&W and during sermon, no 1 really shouted Amen or laughed at jokes told by jasmine. it was kinda low and bad la. everyone was not really at their peak. after that went down to play pool with my cg ppl and met up with sherms and we had a great time. we slack at cafe cartel and we had alot of fun chatting there. haha. den after tat went home and now i m slping soon. tml still nid to wake up early to go play basketball. hahaha.

2007-07-14T10:43:00.001+08:00

wow!! finally its saturaday morning. supposingly i need to go to sch for college day todya but i m really very tired to go man. i decided to rest at home and do my admin work and also complete some hw bcos it is really alot of hw at hand- i have 8 economics article reviews, alkene tutorial, PW written report, application of differentiation summary. omg. tat is a load full of hw. somemore i have some minstry work at hand. its been a hectic yet fulfilling week as i did my work with joy and there were no setbacks or disruptions. which i relaly tank God 4. haha. after a week from the pit. i gradually getting to stand up, but it is really agonising u noe, i have to stand back on my own. there is no one to help me, no 1 to support me. but its ok. I will do my best, God do the rest.
i decided to quit rugby as well bcos of the my time constraint and also of my poor results, i decided to focus more on my studies den my CCA. another reason i m quitting the team is bcos the new captain suck. i don like him man. he is so damn small size and he is just damn action. i don lyk him man. it beats the real meaning of Rugby. the captain is so small size? we will be a laughing stock. "who's your captain?" den a small guy came out. OMG. wth. give me a break man. it is all the DAMN ASSHOLE PIKA fault, who asked for a re-vote bcos he wan the vice captain place 4 himself. wad a jerk. i prefered Derrick as the Captain and Pika as the ball keeper. ASSHOLES. TRATIORS.

2007-07-11T22:05:00.000+08:00

its been a few days since i posted. i m kinda busy with my sch stuff and i don really have time to on the computer and do my stuff bcos i m not a person who could multi task. which i think is very sad. hahahaha. i dunno wad i really wanna blog abt but i juz wanna make my blog since alive. LOL. today is really juz any other day: hectic sch schedule, tough CCAS, teachers bu shuangness, and fatigue, everything juz falls into place. hahah. it was an average day. maybe i will post more on sat nite ba. haha. see wad God says. tml is CG and i m leading sermon D, i hope i can really wake those ppl up in my cg and help them to grow in the kingdom of God. smiles!!! nite.

2007-07-08T01:05:00.000+08:00

today my entry would be very short and simple:

GOD HELP ME.

today's sermon really relate to me alot. i can totally understand wad pastor jeff is talking abt.those days were TAT DAYS. <Micah 5:10-15>. those days i went thru were the days God destroy and demolished. but i will continue to obey and trust Him. Confidence in Him, not me. true i am still sad and torn down, but i believe, God would help me. so my prayer today is, God help me, help me,help me,help me,help me,help me,help me,help me,help me!!!!!!!!!!! please. God will always help you, i believe Pastor jeff and i believe the Word. so God, help me.

2007-07-06T23:03:00.000+08:00

its had been a long long journey. on 4th July, i hit the pit of my life. i had nvr nvr ever felt so sad and demorlised b4. i got back my results of chem and maths. i got U for both subjects and i m really really sad. i did studied hard for the exams and i put in efforts to do them well, but in the end i did badly. Everyone expected me to do very well. i am top scorer of the class, appointed Peer Coach of the class, everyone looks up to me as a ''tutor''. but in the end i did fairly bad for exams.

its ok.

i reached home after rugby and it was quite late den i realised i got quite a few stuff to do and i was die tired. i did my hw, quiet time and find chords for worship for the next day and i nid to practice for it as well. i was at the peak of my stress level and i m die tired. juz den my mom asked me,' hey, have you eaten!!!' i replied hasty tat yes i have eaten and could you pls leave me alone. juz when i was abt to continue practising, my dad came into the rm, furious, asked me why i m so rude to my mom, he gave me a very harsh scolding. he realised it is outta stress den i did it, so he tried and ask.i couldnt take it anymore, i cried, very very very badly. in my whole life, i nvr cried tat hard b4. when my dad and mom came and try and console me and asked wads the prob, i juz walked away and ignored them. i nvr disrespected my father b4 no matter how unjusted he treated me. but i juz walked away and ignored them.

never mind.

thurs came, b4 i left the hse, my dad talked to me. he tried to console me, but in the end, i felt being tore down again.he said,' lets just put yest things behind and juz move on, DO YOU NOE MOM DIDNT SLP LAST NITE BECOS OF YOU??'so wad is he trying to imply? i m the at fault la? i brought all these onto myself and the family la? he offered me milo and bun, i threw them away when i reached the void deck.cg came, i tot i could juz relieve some steam them, but i was so wrong. i went them and i was so torn down by 1 of them. due to time constraint, i rushed the testimonal part abt my telling a joke to hint. but den i was reprimanded by 1 of the members for not being encouraging. i had to think of the other ppl who nids to go home early and tml we still have sch.

forget it.

today it was ok in sch but i reached home, i heed miss kat advice go and ask ur ST abt wad went wrong in exams. i had mr tan's email, so i msn him and asked. he totally tore me down into pieces and broke me into fragments.i told him i really put in hard efforts for the exams he done believe, in the end he compared me to jessica.i was totally torn down and i couldnt find words to say.

its too much for me.

i m seriously at the lowest point of my life. but tats ok, the worst thing is i have no 1 to turn to. NO ONE at all. my family? forget it, they think i m a burden. my cg? nah, they cant understand. my friends?i don have much.even i do, they don seem to understand. God? he is no where to be found. pls help me.

2007-06-28T23:30:00.000+08:00

today was a boring day. went to sch for some PW written report workshop. it was not really useful but it give me some tip here and there which i nid to decipher myself. nvm had cg and it lasted for quite long we end it at around 930. raphael dropped by to do a spotcheck. Zixin was kinda terrified. i didnt give a damn he is there anot. haha. he is juz a person wad. if he judge us ar, he not fit to be our SDL. den today had a very enlightening 'talk' by HANNAH CHEANG. man, i cant believe someone is so optimistic abt everything man. she told me tat she is juz very optimistic abt the things around her. this sentence caught my attention,
*****there's no point wallowing in my misery. either i do smth abt the prob, or i forget it and stop complaining.***** wah. not bad a.. i really feel new and refresh man. bcos i m kinda of a pessimistic guy by nature but she juz *ting* and i m enlighten! WOOOO!!haha not bad ar... haha. my mindset is kinda changed for that split second man. i go thru a while more and maybe tml when i wake up, i will be changed man and who knows, i maybe a greater man that i could ever imagine. hahahhahahhahha

2007-06-26T23:16:00.000+08:00

today was kinda a unlucky day for me. i today no sch and i stayed at home. i studied at home abit den play a round of DOTA. den after that ****************** asked me to go study, rather coach her in POA. so i went. on the way, den down the lift, i was talking to myself den i was caught by some strangers 3 times bcos i forget to take things den i go back and come down again. as i was walking thru the void deck, got these 2 boys kicked this F&N drink can, and it kinda hit me on my leg. inside there is still leftovers. my foot was sticky. initally i wanna confront them and give them a good wallop, but the holy Spirit prompted me of this 'REMEMBER THE DUCK' in the connect journal so i stared at them and walked away. as i walk i got more angry, but after a while, i cooled down and forgive them and forget it. i meet them to study but in the end we were chatting happily away instead of studying. abit waste time but we did study abit fruitully. haha. den after tat we went to shop and save to buy some chocolate. den suddenly ************** passed me the phone to act as +++++++++ dad. it was some person bf who wanan help his gf get some money back. den i imposed as +++++ father. tat guy intially dun believe, but i scolded him cos he keep hurling vuglarities at me den he silent and began to be nicer. haha after tat we went to the playground and we continued to settle there and finally it was settled.

we talked abit.

ate some chocolate

slack awhile

home:)

2007-06-25T22:53:00.000+08:00

YEAH! fianlly the exams r over!!!i sustained thru a 3hrs long worth of chinese paper and it was a torture man. OMG. but still i sit thru it and manage to completed it. exams are over but i m really not expectant abt the results man. have total no confidence in myself. i noe i gave it my all but still the papers r seriously too hard for me to handle. i admit i underestimated H2 papers and i was kinda taken aback by the qns, but still i did my best. i really did. today i had fun in westmall and juz walk around and laze around today. practically today after exams i had been slacking and playing. juz now i dunno wad i have eaten man, i had a very bad stomachache. i jzu came out from the toilet. still feel abit uncomfortable and abit aching, but it is really better than juz now. haha. it was let out of relieve. hahahhaha. i prayed in the toilet as i do my business. i wonder izzit a disrespect to God, if it is, i really wanan apologise to God. bcos i wanna save time u noe. anyway i got nothing to do in the toilet so i might as well pray. i seriosuly nid to take time out to do up my blog abit, but i forget the blogs extra thingy so i kinda lazy la. haahha

2007-06-24T18:13:00.000+08:00

today i stayed at home for the whole day actually wanna go out and study with jolene and jogina de, but i m too lazy to go so i stayed at home and study for my chinese instead. well it was kinda fruitful though. after i studied finished, i had a round of DOTA. omg in the first time of my history the creeps were numerous man. i shld have printed screen and let u guys have a look. u all will be shocked to death. haha. after tat i went to restring my guitar. it looks lyk brand new man. after tat i had a go on my guitar. wah as i played, the 'higher' i got man. den i started to shred on my guitar. wah i didnt noe i can shred so fast man. so shiok man.but i shred until to fast and too hard already until my index finger have blister. it was quite painful. but nvm it was fun. haha... now i m so bored and started to blog and later i m gona watch initial D. for now i ma going to bath. CHAOS>!

2007-06-22T23:09:00.000+08:00

today math paper was such a killer man. i thnk i m gonna fail it. JC life is really tough man. Jerel say it until it is lyk juz a breeze for him man. wah this pressurize me sia. today we went out to eat with Jerel cause he wanna treeat us to eat as birthday prezzie. which has passed a long long time ago. we had a great time eating sakae sushi. it was not really nice but we did enjoyed ourselves very much.. ahaha. den we went to bugis walked abit den go home. on my way home, matthaias called and asked me to transfer yanshi over to the YJ cg, to joseph. at first i was lyk quite ok with it. but as i ponder on it, i started to feel sad tat yanshi is gonna transfer to joseph. it was hard to train up yanshi and finally he reached the easy part to disciple and he was transfered out to someone else. yanshi was my blood and sweat. he was a hard guy to disciple and i fiinally able to bring him up and he is now gonna be transfered. i felt very sians. he finally reached a stage tat it would be easier for me to disciple him and he is now transfered away. now joseph got all the easy job. it always happened lyk this man. i train until very hard den finally reached tat stage den he has to be transfered out. haiz..... i hack care already la. haiz.

2007-06-21T21:43:00.000+08:00

today is the first cg of PJC!!! at first i was quite nervous tat people will be quiet but Actualy people all bonded very quickly and fast. haha we had mee goreng as cg snakcs. haha. it was at vivian hse. tansk 4 the servanthood spirit and hopsitality. we noe we kinda messed up ur hse abit. haha. sorry. haha. cg was fun but lack of spiritual element. personally i think no one was expectig something from God in the worship and everyone was juz closing their eyes and be slient and juz singing along. at the end aaron still challenge the Grp to beat YJC, but no one was listening, everyine juz heck care him. after cg we were duno talking was shit la. but we were laughing our ass off. hahahahaha. but it was kinda of some unspiritual talk la. sometimes its ok, but too often it is not good for our spiritual health. so next time it happens i m gonna take a stand and stop the conversation from contitnuing. :)ok tat all for today. nothing much for toyda.